It's Christmas Eve


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Tonight, my beautiful and old church will having a dinner and carol events. I hope i can enjoy the time in it. It's christmas eve. Christmas is all about our Saviour, Jesus Christ came to this world to redeem us all in 2 thousand years ago. God sent Him to us to save us all from the bondage of sin. How great is He who had sent His only son top redeem us all. Christmas is not all about santa, shopping and giving. It's a celebration that God had came to save us all. The hope He has given throughout this season had make us free. That's what all christmas about. In this modern world, Tv and media always impact and influence the mind of people to believe santa and etc but Jesus. Christmas, a message to all the world that they can be saved by believing Him as their personal Saviour and gave your life to Him. It's a free gift to heaven. God Bless U all. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

A Glimpse Of Memories

Just today onward, it’s the days I will face the real world. A glimpse of memories of 2 years will store in my mind. As today is the last days at school, my form 6 school, sung siew secondary school, there is quite much I miss those moments. Memories of the past plus the present, so much I had learned from these years. Learning to communicate, learn to see people, and etc. I got some friends I know since the last 2 years in my school. Anyway, it’s just a memory that will keep in me. When time goes by, many things will change, people will change, all change but God will not changed. A step to the society world after my own STPM exam and planning for my own future. A glimpse of memories as dwell in my mind as the days goes by. May the pasts’ mistakes become teaching in the future. For not dwell anymore in the past and learn to forget it. Sweet and bitter memories. For now, I just want to get well in my STPM exam. God help me this time. God bless u all that is in SPM and STPM exams. God Bless.

Just Get On

After receive effective comments from someone I don’t know, I just need go on in my life and take changes inside of me. It’s been right; no one can save me beside myself. No more sad and negative character. Now just left 43 days to STPM, do what I can and be in the Lord’s guide always. It’s just me to take the change of myself and I need to be mature. No more childish thoughts. Sorry for those who offended in the previous achieve. Just get it on and continue to get a blessed life with God. No more self pity, control my flesh and get a good results and bear consequences. That’s all. Thanks for the comments.

True friend are hard to find

Friends. Hard to know what the really meaning of “friend”, especially true friend. It is very hard to find true friends. There is some friend close with u just for taking some advantages from me. Some those lie and cheat me for a certain purpose to not reveal their secret darkness and sins. Some are not truthful. I got one among the friends that I know whom just close to me for certain events and matters. I hate such things happen to me. What have I chosen all the time? Have I done something wrong? So much of kindness draw unto them, they just blind and not repay what I have done to them. Am I taking something that I had given? I don’t know. Some got see what I had done but there is some got see what i had done on them but still not close to me. Is that I not sacrifice much in them. Is that I’m not take some time to know what happen to them? What happen? Time changed, people changed. People changed, friendship changed. So much in life that I need to learn. Is that sometimes I not spend much time in them? What about me? Do they spend their time in me? Do they know what really happen to me? Thank God that I still have my 3 best pals and my own sisters and family. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have? But sometimes, when I back to school or church, I didn’t sense the presence of closeness friendship, some are on their own business, some with others, some had their work to do. For works, I don’t mind much but for those who always mind their own business, I not like it. Hey, what I had done in your life is that useless and hopeless at all? Y u just minds your own business than go to care me? Is that I done something wrong in their life? I really don’t know at all. Something I done wrong, they didn’t tell. Only those who are really close with me, especially my best pals, they told me. Thank God for He had given me such close friends who really help me. Sigh…I really don’t understand sometimes, y such things happen in my surrounding? I thought it come to an end since I left secondary school. Sigh. At least, I still got some who really cares for me. Be grateful always. One things at all, God never changed. He is the real True and Best friend at all times.

Old Memories

The pictures is like a reflection of the old memories. Old memories come to my mind when I see the old pictures of the past. Many thoughts come to my mind. During those times, we all were happy. I did all that I didn’t think of what I had done it before. Happy, sadness, crazy and foolish moments of the past. Things change fast. Time tick fast too. Those old memories that make me joy and sorrow. The happiness times with my best gang, the past and sad tragedy, mission trip moments, helping to make events such as concerts and camps moments, and etc. Although it was happy and sorrow those precious moments but things change now. Last night, I called my best friend in KK, things and people change when u gets older. He himself also was changed. I saw so many of my best pals in the gang of friends had change. Time past, people change, things change, surrounding change and me also change. People change now. My once best pal become common pal, their mind set change and I began not to suite their kind of thinking. Many problems when I grow up. Relationship problems, friendship problems, study problems, and many more. Things make me to grow up and be mature. My surrounding friends also change due to their surrounding. Change in their mind set, perspectives in life and people and etc. The closeness I had in them had change since the friendship gone into problem. Besides that, I might cause some problem by myself but sometimes I do no what I have done. Trust…sigh. People will changed, but God never change at all. That’s what important. Happy moments were the past. Sorrow moments were the past too. Past is past, gone is gone, lost is lost, just accept the situation although things goes wrong and try to make it well back. If can’t, just let it to God. A friend of mine, a best friend too will go to KL to study; yet all of my friends will miss him. He will be left, so I just accept it. I might be sad for I missed so much in our friendship but things will change. Just go my life. I will try to keep myself to keep in touch with them all. I don’t want a situation when 10 years later we meet back will be nothing to said. I hope God still sustain my friendship with all my friends who are close. Things change, people change but God never changes. When people change, just accept it. When u done a wrong step, just don’t regret it and think to get it done till u have to let it to God. Think well before I take a step. Make decision well. Practice more to improve myself. Things gone, it had gone so just stand up and get going. Memories just become a moment to reflect what u had wrong and what u have done in persons’ life. Old Memories are good to reflect back in my mind but not dwell in it. Past had past, so get going towards. That’s all. God Bless all my friends and you all.

Been matured

There is so much to learn in life. A few days ago, I learn to see a friend’s character. Deal with difficult situation with a good way. Learn to stand up. Learn to be mature in mind, physical and soul. Just life there is too much to learn. So much till u can’t learn all of them but what is more important is God. My life messed up because I lost Him. I’m not depending on Him all the time. I not put Him first. I tend to done it by myself. I lazy. That what Danny said to me? Really makes me learn something in life. Life just not about having a girl friend (for me lah), have fun all the time but life is about serving and glorifying God. What I lost all the time? My relationship with Him. His presence in me. His love is what really matters to me. What more to said is just get into Him. The others becoming second. I just need to learn that kind of relationship with Him. Close one. God guide me all the way and according to Your will. Just as:

Matthew 6:33 :

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Haiz.....

Just been guilty for what has done for the past. Spread somethings that not true to others like gossip spread out yet the person is innocent. It had done and makes me guilty and simpathy to the person. The tragedy all was just a misunderstanding. Last year, tragedy just simply a misunderstanding when not confronting with the person that had make wrong in front of my eyes. What more can do? Pass is pass. Gulity was felt in my heart for what i had make a person's name spoil because of my words. So sorry for her for what i had done for a long time? Since our friendship was broken, and now was been repaired and better. I was so sorry for what i had said to my friends that she is not good. Yet she is innocent. Sigh, what more can do? Sorry....i pray that i will not make the same mistakes again. God guide me all the time.

LEARNING

There is so much to learn in life. So much, yesterday i had learn. Learn to sacrifice at good friends life. Learn to communicate and deal with a problem. Life sometimes can said is a process of learning. So much things happen in my life, sad and happy, just need to go on. Me just think negative site always. It's time to think what is positive now. I hope i can deal with it well. Love, Truth & Faith, is what is essential in friendship. God guide me all the way.

DONNO....

Life just seems hard to move on or me just self pity. Friends tend to say me something or I been bad. Sucks…sucks…sucks….y I always said suck…..life in comfort zones seems more not to suites to me now. Which to go out but I didn’t put effort on it? How to go out from this zone? How? HOW? Studies so suck and just seems want to give up. I don’t want to do so. Give up is more sucks later. Y I’m suck? I know…is just I was lazy. Wasted 1 year to play and have fun. WASTED…WASTED…lost, lazy and sleeper. Y me can’t wait till the end that I can rest as much as I can, play as much as I can and etc? WHY? I lost a part to the world. LOST…i need to go up again. EVERY DAY STRUGGLE TO battles my flesh. Lose most of the time. Guys…who are those to hold the responsible? Search what is love? Love is from God. Just at 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Help myself is the way. Hoping u guys who read this gave some comment what should I do and overcome?

Appreciate what u got….

Appreciate what u got. That’s what I learn from my sister blog. Friends are there to you to be care of them. To be a brother in Christ among them. Time was there for me to study. A foolish acts of me that I not appreciate at the most of them. Things go bad because what moves I make. I realized there still friends really care me, God care me and I am not alone at all. My friends were far from me, but still understand me. My life are been help by them that God so blessed to gave me them. God actually help me much in life through the vessel of blessing of my friends in other places. I just blind from the lies of the devil and make me do foolish act that might hurt them. Lord guides me. I now need to appreciate what I have now. Once I left my hometown, life needs to restart again. Thank You, God for so much you had help me even I been hurt u before. Let me the man after Your own heart, Lord. For what u had been said to me last year. Guide me to be a caring and humble person that can reflect the glories of Your name. In Jesus name, I prayed. Amen.

{REWRAP}

It’s been 4 months that I not been blog. It’s been a long time that my old and caring friend, Joash had gone to Tawau. I miss my friend so much. Words that he had help me much all this time. Words that he encouraged me to be brave in communication, becoming a positive person and caring person. Every advice still got some memories in me. I had been told that I was once a guy who was rewrap into a present paper that warp in a box. I stuck there for a long time that I struggle to came out. I had out from the box and the present paper, to see what beyond me, my own thinking. Think out of the box that what he mostly mention. My story begins from my secondary school hood; I was once a negative and angry person. Life sucks during that moment. Been alone is not fun at all. Since I enter form 6, I realized that I just think negatively all the time. Been alone and unhappy person, I was less been approach by friends around me. They hard to realized what am I thinking about. Those words really change my life; I began to post an archive from my blog since then. His words had changed me much. Not him also, my other caring friend, Augustine also help me much in my life too. Since after the tragedy, I rewrap back. I foolishly take steps to ~rewrap~ my own self again. For almost a year or half year, I had been negative again. I thought I was hurt deeply but it’s just a misunderstanding. Last night and 2 days ago, I realized so many things from some friends, the tragedy had been healed and solve is due to everyone weakness, the 2 faces friends that I realized in my life, and selfishness dwell in my group of friends. What happen actually? I so realized so many things that it’s hurt me much and makes me confused. I realized that it’s better to give than receive. That is what I done last year. I stop doing so because misunderstanding and hurts that dwell in me all the time. Blind by gossip and lost because not see the truth clearly. Almost to lost the friendship that I was once misunderstand. There is so much to learn in a period of life. It’s hard to be mature. I was foolish that I had been ~rewrap~. Not caring others and me too. Life sucks and friendship torn to something that I didn’t know. I was alone because what I choose the way to be. How foolish I am? Life needs to go on. God guide me.

Is my cross standing at a site?

Is my cross standing at a way between the road to hell and heaven? Is my cross that i should bear had stand in a place and I walk on my own. It's does happen to me. I was walk on my own. My own ways, pleasure, freedom and desire. I was exchausted, tired and dry up. For I was walk on my own. The cross represent the suffering and pain I will endure in the walk of life to eternity. I had put it aside in the way to Heaven. Walk on my own desire had makes me suffer. I falled to my past and worried of future. I didn't control myself. I been scolded or puting false hope in my friends and family. What had happen to me? This all because I put my cross aside in the road. I cry to the Lord for what I have done. Lord, I lifted my sorrow and failure to you. Lord, forgive me that I had put my cross aside. My cross once lifted high in the way to You. Now Lord, I want to lifted the standing cross and bear it to walk for the days of my life.

The word of God said:
Luke 8:34 said:
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

I want to carried back my own cross to walk back. Lord, guide me. After 29 days after the new years, i failed many test of my school studies. Lord, guide me to be hardworking and filled with the Holy Spirit to work. I will not gamble for my own future. God, surely You are there to guide me in my life.

A word of God that my friend, angela who had help me to refers at.It had refresh my soul:

Luke 8:4-15 (New International Version)

While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."

When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,

" 'though seeing, they may not see;
though hearing, they may not understand.'

"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Weakness…

Now was 25 day after New Year, I had been for some days in certain mood and seasons. Just now been quarrel with my father for his car. Sick of him because he has no patient to me at all and no faith at me. He just simply thinks of his own car and never let me independent to drive the family car. Why he never thinks that his son will take care of his car although he has weakness on driving? He can simply teach instead of scolding all the time. Last time when my sister get a car license, she just drive for a while and make some minor scratch in the car, my father completely didn’t allow her to drive the car. I was weak recently. I was lazy and playful. Enjoying the freedom in school without proper ways of studies. Sleep mostly. It’s seems I had forgotten my goal and aims in my life. Life is too comfort in this small town of Sandakan. Just a few days, I just know what is my goal in life which are I got to get a scholarship after STPM and tried to get to study at Singapore. Can I make these goals to happen? I am confused. I see my studies had left for so many chapters a year ago. I’m lazy and playful when I was in school last year. Thought the last year camp I did learn something but I didn’t apply it all. I quite bad and I were not as honest as I was. I quite pride and thinking that I can do it all. In reality, I was not. Self-discipline matters. This what I had lack for a year ago. I lack of it till I didn’t bother my homework and future. Teachers had given so much advice that I should study hard and smart because the future is in my hand. I do listen to them and trying to apply in my life but I didn’t apply all. Is that I was too lazy to do my homework and lies too much to my friend that saying I’m busy. Certain time, I was surfing in the Internet for many hours till I forgot my work to do. I lack of my self-control. Is the self-esteem makes me like this? I really don’t know. I will try to make the first step to study. Now I quite have done it. I might need to read many books for my knowledge in my blank brain. Sigh…weakness in me. I need to control myself now. God help me.

Histories of 2006, New Resolutions Of 2007

The past of 2006 had gone by yesterday time pass through 12 a clock. The past was a great memory in my life. The year of breakthrough, hurts, experiences, failures, sufferings, God’s miracles, healing, comforting, friendship strengthen, and etc. This blog as began at April 2006. The began of the event called Festival Of Praise 2006 in St Michael church, my own church. The archive said the event that will change my life. It really changes my life styles. 2 years ago, I was a guy that so silent, complain, sensitive, negative and selfish. I was remembering when I always complain about this and that when I was in the some camp, I was always complain about the food, accommodation and etc. How silly I was that day? The year 2006, I was begun to work as a youth volunteer at my church for 3 month. After days after the beginning of the work, I and my best pal and bro, ah chuen go for training for 2 weeks in Telupid. At there I was learn to be grateful, positive and keep my faith in God. There was the time when I learn to talk and communicate well, be brave when talk to a girl. When the event, Festival of Praise, it was an event that help me to stand myself up to walk the road as a Christian. Taking the cross of Jesus Christ is not easy. After it, the dance called Not Ashamed by planet shakers album, Evermore. That began I suddenly dwell into a misunderstanding relationship with a girl. It was a hard and hurtful times to endure the pain of been rejected but many people help me, advice me and share to carry my burden. Thank God for my sis, Jenny, my best pals, Gabriel, Ah Chuen, Joash and etc. It was not easy to forget a person that I love but I can go through it by God and my best friends that helps me. So much things that I had happen in my life, I began to have many girl friends and have a good relationship with God, be humble and grateful, be brave and courage to face the problems in my life, getting know a gal from school who had been my little sis and etc. A friend of mine in KK, Pearle also helps me much through the year and advice me much through the spiritual life with God. She advice me not to dwell in the past and stand strong to go forward in life. Thank you for your advice my friend. I began to lower my type of friend that I will get know. I began to know new friends from the Impact Generation camp 2006. I began to know Joseph who was a kind and caring guy, Joy Ng who easy to forget my face…hehe, Michele Liew, a gal who was friendly, Debra who was my big sis’s friend and friendly too, Soo Man, Amos, Adam, Vanessa, Enfee and George Lai who was a guy I know in sdk. Besides them, I also had know some new friends. In the camp, I had been through many breakthroughs in worship and prayers. I began to courage up to pray to God and heard calling in the camp. I met my sis, Jenny and others from tell the world camp 2005. A month ago from the camp, I had gone to a mission trip at sugut, paitan and nangod in the interior of Sabah. There I was learned that I was grateful and blessed life in my hometown. The places in there got many people still have not know God yet and the love of God. That why the places still need us as Christian to care, loves and spread the love of God to them. Tell them that they still have hope. There I was learned to work together with my Bm friends in the church. There was I learned the fellowship of brother and sister in Christ when working together to serve. Many things I had learned throughout the year 2006. It is time to make new things in my life in this New Year 2007. I want to be more strong in faith in God, serve Him wholeheartedly, restore broken relationships with friends, make new friends, help each and other in my life, less go out to cyber, use money wisely, began to play back my old guitar, play new songs, put my whole effort in my studies, think twice before doing something or talk to someone, read the whole bible this year, and spend more of my time with God. Thank you God for the blessing that you had given to me. God will guide me throughout the days of my life. Thank you, God.