I had failed. I failed my exam. I get the second lowest in my class. I was wondering what had happen to me. I still don’t know where I want to study in my future. I seem hopeless and sad. Many things had happened to my life. Misunderstanding relationship, friends will or might go to leave my hometown, church life, talking skill, fake mask, and others. What happen to me? I wasted so much time in this year. Till now I don’t know what I want to do in my future. It’s waste me a year. Sigh…sigh…seems hopeless to me. I have faith in God that He will lead me but I myself having problems. I want this and I want that. Sigh…. I also wasted my parent’s money to play at cyber cafes. Wasted so much money. Why did I go there to play? I hate to bore. I want to get off from boredom. In this age, many things changed. People surrounding had changed. Some were good and some were bad. Thank God for those who had changed to good. I now was self-pity. I have sin against God. I keep doing things that I should not do even I had prayed to God. Sigh. The person or character that I hate the most is hypocrite. Even I myself almost like them. Sigh. Sigh. I’m confused. I also want a girl friend in this time. Sigh. So I can know girls more and more. I’m 18 now and still never dated before. I know God will give the best but I’m not patient and causing myself hurt during the misunderstanding relationship recently. During the moment, I was hurt and rejected. What I had lacked off? Is that I’m not handsome enough or good enough? A guy who loves God and a heart to serve God, she can’t see. Sigh. I let it. Just continue the friendship. I’m too selfish during that time. I felt I was wasted so much time on it till my study had been neglected. Not the moment too, I’m too caring for my “kei mui” too, I was cared her till she was sensitive too me. What should I do? Serve man is never been easy. That’s why my sis told me that I should serve God because it’s eternal. I still confused of myself and I felt I was a failure. Sigh. Lord what should I do? Guide me, Jesus. For you are my strength and comforter. Jesus guides me till the eternity. Sigh…
4 comments:
tze yung sumtimes....
it hard 2 tell u but...
stop pity urself...k
wat wrong wif u ??
u think da problems u had now is so kinyau meh...
why when Job is been tempted by da Satan, he oso dun say anythingz but pray...
ehh...tat guy problems lagi teruk than u ohh...
daughters n sons died...
loss wealth...
wife told him 2 curse God...
frens said he a sinner...
skin diseases...
u muz thx God u din happen 2 hv tis problems...
i hv been reading ur blog 4 a long time...
n hate 2 say tis...
u r a pathetic loser....
yea...u r a pathetic loser...
wake up...
u r not da onli who dun hv gf in church...
look at ur frenz...
tzekhin, eric, alvin, wai yee...
all oso dun hv gf loh...
even Johnny Lim n Steven Liew dun hv gf...
it is veli important 4 u...2 hv a gf ??
ppl hv dun mean u oso muz hv...
in ur previous post..u say u misunderstood ur fren...
juz bcoz they din ask u 2 go 2 fun fair...
cant u think clearly....
if u reali wan 2 go...
ask them....
n after going thr...sure ppl will talk abt it...
it not tat they dun care abt ur feeling...
n u say u failed exam...
so...
dun juz sit thr n complain...
dun grumble...
God hate ppl who complain...
u c da Israelites..
when God bringz them out of Egypt..
they complain to Moses...
they said they hv no drinkz n foodz
betta 4 them 2 suffer in Egypt...
u n c wat God had done...
He promise n he will do it...
He make da Red Sea parted into half
He make mana drops frm da sky...
He make birdz 4 them 2 eat...
water frm stone...
He make those who opposed them suffer...
look at Jericho...
da great city fall down n bcome rubble...
n bcoz they complain..
God dun allow them 2 enter da Promise Land
remember...self righteous n self pity is a sin...
if u failed exam..promise urself...
2 do betta next time...
they is no mountain 2 high 4 u 2 climb
n if u think u wasted ur parents money by going cyber...
then dun go...
u say u bored...
n wan entertainment
r u nutz...
u in form 6...
study hard...
it ur crucial time...
if u get bad result frm tis major exam...u cant get into a gud uni...
n remember ur family...
ur parents is not tat rich...
they cant support u 2 study in private uni...
so get a gud result n make them proud...
n get into a gud uni...
u said u were 2 tired when u helping in da carolling n da interchurch worship...n hope ppl compliment u but none do
hey...u volunteer urself 2 help...
so why do u expect ppl 2 compliment
u r a servant....u SERVE God...
when a servant work...all day longz
will u cook 4 them...n praise them
NO
u will order them more...cook 4 me.
tis is da same wif u...
when u c da highest building on earth..u will praise da architect first...nobody gonna praise da labours...
u r a labour 4 God
dun expect ppl 2 compliment..
if they do...praise God 4 it...
but dun worry...u treasure will be increasing oso
u noe...da real problem wif u is..
u live in ur own world...
wake up...
nobody gonna help u...
u failed ur exam...
n u crying over spill milk...
dun tell me u r gonna trust God..
n He will help u get 4A1 next year.
tat call gambling wif God...
hey...u shld study...more...
i heard abt u...
ppl complained abt u...
they said u r slow...
n then when i read ur blog...
i bcome angrier at u...
why ??
coz u r so pity urself...ppl fail exam...they dun pity themself..they study hard...improve themself...
when ppl hv relationship problem..
they dun shout it loud n complain..
in fact they will try 2 improve their relationship wif others...
remember u r not da onli who had these problems...
many ppl do..
not much of them complain out like u...
im scolding thru ur own blog...not bcoz i hate u...
but i hope 2 c tat u can changes...
remember thr is still hope...
u can change..remember ps jon tse songs 'changes' n shape my life i pray..
u r still a young tree...nid 2 be prune...n changes gud 4 u...
if u dun hv a gf..why complain...
u got plenty of love...
ur family...ur sis...ur abba father..ur fren..Jesus...
remember no matter wat happen...
dun complain....
u had these problems..coz u complain 2 much...
be grateful...
goh, i got nth 2 say after read ur fren comment.. he or she is rite.. u should nt b complaint but hav 2 face it n solve it.. goh, i know i ignore u sumtimes n caused u worry on me.. i am very sorry abt tat..
but u hv 2 know tat, u not a handsome guy meh....tat`s y i ignore u loh...( stp yww type tis de!)
em.. i nw at library.. on9 checking 4 my mail..
ok la. tat's all i have 2 say..
hope u have a nice day..
I as your sister also agree what your friend is scolding you about. If i see you personally, i will scold you like the same your friend did here.
It's ENOUGH....It's enough means it's ENOUGH. Enough of all these complain and comparing.
Handsome come from the inside. Inner beauty is the most important thing. If you don't want to wake up, no one can wake you up. You can always be a baby....and be mom's baby. To be happy or not, it's a choice...God gives us choices so you have choices. If you choose to always seek for attention, love and word of encouragement while you yourself never offer any of those to anyone, how do you expect people to give you.
How you want people to treat you, then treat them with love and kindness first. Enough with complain, enough with self pity.
I know you are not stupid, but if you continue to choose to be in this path, i can assure you that people will not willing to be your friend anymore. They offer help, but you choose not to take their help then you complain that they didn't help. No one can help you if you yourself don't help yourself. Wake up... stand up.
I hope i don't need to scold you when i meet you. Coz, i will scold you until you cry. Take my word...
Everyone love you.... Open your eyes and see. The Lord is with you. I won't talk much coz your friend comment have already speak out what most people want to tell you. It's all depends on you now.
I really donno who is anonymous, sis. I thought he/she is you.
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