It's A Corner

Should I stay or leave?

2011-12-23T13:44:00.000+08:00

It’s Christmas times now. Everyone is busy with their own things and work and so do I. Today I just realize I whether still belong to this church or not because I felt i not been belong to anyone here. I still dun have a close friend to share my daily sorrows. I felt alone in serving in this church. I even felt I want to quit this program and go back to work in the secular world. I felt what I am here for. Alone, depress, not loved, not being socially attached to and much more thoughts running in my head. I felt like a child seeking for the love. Yet that love is still lost. Am I lost my love with God? It’s the first love is gone and I felt lost. There is a hole that always longing for love and care. I unable to love because I can’t see it. Have a lost my faith? Am I alone all the time? Why I still thinking those past that still haunted me because those rejection which makes me like a wonderer in every church. I am worth to serve. Am I serving man or God? I felt depress because I felt alone. Am I just simply selfish? I felt lost and dry. What am I doing here? Where am I Lord?

2011-06-25T22:00:00.004+08:00

It's a corner of the writer

This blog always a corner to pour some story out from my own life that i seldom talk about and said. In this year of 2011, i made a major decision to leave my medium income workplace, my comfort n entertainment place of KL that i been study and work for 3 years to come to KK in the All Saint's Church to join the Ambassador program. It's been struggle and freedom from the word of God after so much of training and practical. Yet, i still always have a struggle of coping loneliness that always lingering to me when i go to any churches since i left my mother church, i can't find my own trusted gangs that we can have fun and trust. I always felt lonely even now with 3 of them because i just dunno who i can share my sorrow and pain to. That hunger for longing always in hunger. I felt more things to be done but this belonging hunger still there. I felt no sense of love in belonging and trust. I now even can't open a trust bridge even to the friends i been know for a long time. I start dunno how to spend more time because i lost longing in my heart. It might be rejections from previous relationship in the past that cause some holes in the heart still leaking in some moments. I felt very tired of being strong in the faces of many. I felt alone now because i dunno who to share those holes that makes me thinks a lot. I'm alone now yet i read Bible more if i still felt this way. I pray that God heal me in this moments of a year of serving him. Who shall i share those sorrow to......

2010-09-29T10:56:00.005+08:00

Next Batch of Faith Music

I was graduated from the second sem of vocal class in FCC. It was a big difference of me in my singing method than the previous me in last worship team auditions. I gain stamina. Although that night, I didn't win but i saw something on that night. Success leads through obedience to God, somehow i experience it's true. The path was hard yet hope is in Him. In this 3 month of job i had even though it's very boring at times, i got better starting salary for diploma graduate even i not had an diploma yet. It's a blessing from him. Breakthrough is what my sister said to me. Hmmm.....now i stuck with some website design cause me a big headache in my head. I been thinking for weeks and it still not accepted. That why ppl always whom not artist or designer will not understand what we been through in the progress of thinking of an creative design. The process takes time but with good art director to lead would be nice to me. Even it crush my artwork, i accept it rather a bunch of garbage critics all around. Some even not an encouragement or talking. That's even worst. Keep on on designing and designing this webby:

this website makes my head spin and spin around just to revent a company website design. So much of things not planned well for a website. I understand, they not web designer yet i not experience in it too....wat the hell, makes me even late to gave the job up. Keep working in a bored place or sometimes a 38 place if the 38 ppl here....haha

2010-09-15T17:46:00.003+08:00

Does?

Does it a must in it? Insurances, i dun have much faith on these policy. Sometimes, when people ask about kill me (joking), i just said let it be. Why i should said so. I said because life sometimes just here n there. Either you live or die, but i do believe i die or live with hope. Today, it was a bored day and it's near holiday. Tomorrow I will be going to help si Zermi's crew in lighting. I hope i can learn something. Why hopes so dim foe such a cloudy day? I seems tired today with dim mood. Sometimes people do not understand what is the meaning of teach than to scold so directly till they know. F U. You just the same hurt people like us. Self vs Give. Haiz....just sleep today...anyway, i been months no updated this blog....

2010-06-22T01:12:00.000+08:00

Don't Be A Problem Maker Next Time And Stay Alive....

2010-04-26T21:56:00.000+08:00

Something to remember in future as designer...

Pao Imin from BQConference on Vimeo.

2010-03-01T23:16:00.003+08:00

Times had goes by.

Times had goes by so fast now. Things if not planned well, time just sometimes wasted in young life. Things changes. I'm change. My mindset had changes. Changes is good when it come with good outcomes. Well, things not the same when times goes by. Sometimes i felt grateful even when that very things happen in my life. It serve with a purpose that makes me more better person than cling on emotions and problem soon might will happen and cause disruptions. Well sometimes when i think back those times, it is a moments yet it does affect me now but it haunted me my own very motive that when i meet friends. Does i had a bad motive behind? Will i be the one whom do the same mistakes that cause me such troubles in the past? The last one is also a friend whom i just know not so long and i get attracted to her. Well, does motive really cause the effect or things just to early. It does affected my ways to know new friends. I hope i didn't come out with bad motive in these things. I don't want create or make an early relationship due to what happens to me in the past but does these matters. Hmmm. Friendships in early is better because early cause end the relationships due to many reasons n emotions. I still learning by lesson i get by the past. Well, i soon need to start back devotions and re purpose my life. I'm growing up and soon life need to be go on as i'm now become adult. Leaning adult.

2010-01-24T21:12:00.002+08:00

Friends and Money.

Money always a sensitive issue to anyone. Well, today i just spoke to a friend about money n friends things. Sometimes i just wonder, now i having financial problem till i dun want to spend much in certain areas, does that affect the friend's relationships. Isn't we communicate and etc makes better? Sometimes i dun like to talk about my financial usage because i feel i have my own right to use it yet in some point of view that i didn't go to find them or having a party with some of my own college friend. Does that affect the relationships? What really matter in relationship anyway? Some certain point we do sacrifice something for it yet sometimes does it give back. I still doubt about this matter yet i just be flexible. My words hard to be trust now. Gaining trust now i need to learn. Does money really matters? What comes to friendships? I not yet work and have my own financial. I just wonder. I seldom talk to friends. I not a person whom always communicate. That why i felt alone somehow in certain times. Am i lack of communicate or something else. Hmmm.

2009-11-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

Being in Love.

Love in a boy and girl relationship is sweet in the early moments. Love sometimes I even don’t really understand it much. Love from God is unconditional. Love from man is limited. Love needs both sides. Love goes through thick and thin. Well, what I saying now is easy because I never fully experience such situation in my life yet. Yet, I still know my family still loves me. But sometimes, I still lack of something. Heart feels empty because of my past. Rejected heart need time to heal. Yet God had molded me much throughout those season of life. Now, I think I need to self discipline and get my mind mature and work with my own earning. Being in love is sweet. Being together for me takes both effort and trust. Mistakes I done have been an impact of me and a hard lesson to go on. Sometimes, I think that I being a melancholy person is not a strong man. What means to be a strong man in emotions? I still seeking it and learn to make myself strong in my character. Still learn it.

2009-11-20T00:21:00.008+08:00

Hang Outs

Well, today is one of our heng dai, Dik's birthday, remake of the birthday in lecture hall again...haha...

tat the lecture hall celebrations....

kakis gathering with the B boy bah....

dikacau kau kau ni panggil....XD

last stance....dunno why use woodpecker???

*photo by Mei Shan....

Well, today i get some hang out with my kakis' in my college life. Times pass by so fast. I with them already a year more. I need to appreciate my friends while there is time before we graduated. For me in these studies of my diploma, 2 years is too fast and next years, i need to plan for my own future and career life. Getting older now sometimes i don't like it but i need to face it. Things so busy these few days and i get sleepless night sometimes due to assignment and some weird nightmare and dreams. It's been the third week and i felt it hard to reconnect something that had broken in the relationship. It's like a gap of wall between us when we meet together. I regret i do make mistakes when things not so stable, i put the wrong responsible and it end up bad in the friendship too because i been too control and caring. It's a hard lesson to me now to grow up and I dun wan get failed again in my own diploma studies due to some hard feelings in the past had cause me give up in my STPM. I failed once, i dun want to failed twice again. It's a season to me now. I need to go through it with God. Sometimes i miss her yet things still broken. What's the point to love instead the other side didn't love? It's just stupid to make myself miserable. I learn not to self pity all the time although when things calm down, sometimes i was very miss her and concern about her. I need space now to heal my own heart for what had been happen. I think i will not so fast to get a girlfriend because i still not mature enough to take care of a person and i need to learn to take care of myself first. Sometimes what i spoken is hard to be done yet it need to be done. Action speaks louder than words. It need times and practice to make it successful. I still learning. Sometimes, i hope she forgive me what i had done and gave me a chance, yet i need space to get rib of these hard feelings. Haiz. Keep devotions now. I pray she will be healthy always. God Bless.

2009-11-08T11:33:00.006+08:00

"Quotation from the past"

"And please don't thank me.

I NEVER HELP U.

This is not an advice.

This is a comment abt ur attitude.

THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN HELP IS U URSELF."

"IF everyone is able to solve these problems, why not u ??

IF we can, so is u

God promise to us that He will show the ways out whenever we are in trouble

He is Our Father in Heaven

And as a father, he know our limits

He will not allow us 2 handle problems we cant solve

Count ur blessing

and everytime u gt a problem

Think of it as a task given by our Dad in order to prune to mold to break to change us

And remember prayer alone cannnot help u

u need action

God help those who help themselves

Be careful what you say and protect your life. A careless talker destroys himself.

Proverb 13:3"

: comment from anonymous. "one comment whom i still learning to cling on.

I just read back my old achieve and see what some reader had really comment me to be a mature me in the past. I see it back because it's been self pity these few days that i need to go thorough. My life not that sucks but myself needs a character changes. Broken yet to move on. These comment had influenced me. People whom send by God to me. Even thought some time in life, i hope can meet them. Listen to certain life testimony in their life whom had inspired me. An inspiration life through thin and thick. Life's blog started to get less more "Me" in future. God Bless.

2009-11-08T01:35:00.003+08:00

Insomnia. +.+

I have insomnia disease which is sleeping disorder. It's been 3 months since it began. Maybe it soon be a part of designer life or what so ever. I had sleepless nights these week. I woke up in the middle of the night and sleep again. Nightmare of horror and rejections haunted me every time my eyes been shut to sleep. Images somehow still appear in my mind. I'm been restless these few days and not happy. It's suck in the reality life. Learn to cope yet i sometimes keep wondering how to make me strong and happy. How to make me valuable to others? It's been a question in my mind for a long time since i ask my best pal, Gabriel how he can keep good friendship among your friends that strong. It's need sacrifice i do dun know what kind and degree of sacrifice to do with it. I do have addiction on the internet and games which also cause me to have this disease. I can't sleep well. Recent things happen makes me depress like whom i once been depress of relationship problems and stress. My family do have depression. I do have a part of time that i do depression. Lately, sleepless night with less appetite cause me even more emotional down. Now, it's like a dark age in my spiritual life. A dark age. Recent things that happen i was trying to let go but it's still hard for me. I miss my friends whom was my supporter. Now, i need to cling on myself to walk this path to get strong. Haiz.

2009-11-01T20:41:00.004+08:00

It's been the first week. Get back to the word of God.

Emotions much settle down. My life start get re routine back. I need to focus back to my study and giving space with patient. Devotion start back for the first week. I been through something in these few days. Advice to keep on and life need to go on. Try to refocus back and control my emotions flow than it control me to make bad decisions. I been hit so many walls till i wake up. Sometimes i just wonder, i rather listen than hit the wall that makes me broken so much. Keep going on with life with God. He is my guide. Learn to patient and give the space in friendship. God is my comforter.

2009-10-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

patient

2009-10-26T13:43:00.001+08:00

By Your Side.

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life

I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)

Artist: Tenth Avenue North

Song: By Your Side

I had cried when i heard these song. My condition now is like these song.

2009-10-25T11:38:00.002+08:00

Lament

I going through lamentations now. Please support me by prayer my friends.

2009-10-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

A life in KL.

In these moments, i been sick so much. I been living a life that brings me to dust. I had not care much about myself and others. There is so much hurt still en rooted me and haunted me. I now learn to satisfy with what i had and what i need. I saw still little things yet i get pride of knowledge. No wonder, humble people do success in control their life into a good path and happy life. My life been so out of routine. I sleep late for no reason. It's suffer that when i took the temptation of the outside and be dwell with me. I started drink some alcohol. It's was a drifted life. When i back to hometown, i learn that, there is useless to get drifted but stay on the Lord is the one I should hold on as always since i was been filled with God's love. I still remember that because i always get happy. When i get adult, things change, get to mature, think more, less lazy, self control, less complain and etc. Adult is good and i learn through suffering, i can be strong. Iron sharpen Iron, one quotation from my sis. Now i going through those sharpening seasons. Keep myself on prayer. I type like Yoda pula. That what i going through now. Try to get healthy life before i get sick young.

2009-09-13T04:47:00.003+08:00

Birthday.....

Everyone celebrate birthdays. Birthdays remind my mothers, she always remind me of my birthday and celebrate together with all my family. I was very glad that at least my family reminds me of my birthdays all the time and the moments i enjoy with my family. I should spend more time with the relationships with all my family. Well, i not very like my birthday sometimes because i always see i celebrate people's birthday with surprises and good food or present been given to them. Yet all the year of my life, it's just a day like normal days except wishes from peoples whom i know. At least, wishes are a good things that they wish for me. All thanks to my church friends and some school friends and facebook too wishes those Happy Birthday message to me. I just sometimes i feel rejected because i had immune to these days. Sometimes i do said, if u don't want to celebrate or forgotten, just let it be. All my life, good moments of birthdays are from family more than friends. I am very jealous of my friends that why they get some good surprises or others from their friends and I am a part of the celebration yet when comes to me, all had busy with their own stuffs. That makes me think for this night thought i just got some wishes and ice cream. Man do crave for more. Sometimes, people do wishes you in facebook, i didn't felt the reality of the message than the message been speaks out from words through face to face which gave me a smile at my face. A simple cake celebrations with photos captured would be a happy celebration with songs sing together will cheer me up for the day. Haiz.....i not meant to be LC in some of my friends birthdays just i just had some this jealousy had cause some coolness of my attitude when those celebration happens. Sometimes i don't celebrate their birthday with the same reason my friend do the same things. Well, 21 birthday celebrations will be special is a bullshit to me because it's doesn't happen at that day. It's just a bullshit than others whom are specials. Well, in this post, i was want to express out my feelings of the day and feel hurts that i had store for a long time. Sometimes I thought what I had wrong. What I do in treating people? What i had done wrong in communication? I really dunno. Anyway, it's good that people gave some nice wishes to me and i thanks them all. These messages are not meant to hurt but it is I want to express what I want to said. God Bless U all.

2009-09-03T00:08:00.001+08:00

Learn something from this video....remind somethings....

2009-08-28T23:28:00.004+08:00

Nice video from my friend Tommy and Muhidren....nice advertisement....college assignment...

2009-08-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

Let’s forget it…

Wow…it’s been months I not blogged. I want to told myself, let’s forget it. Its so struggle when u draw a stupid line in the relationship yet it didn’t bring the results back. It’s about give and take. What’s the point of giving then u didn’t take any. That is foolish. Yet 3 years ago I had done such foolish stuffs and I step so deep into it till I get hurt. That hurt had gone through many ups and downs in life. Now I still realize that I nearly come into the same type of person whom will make me repeat the same history….AHAH…forget it…..I’m tired now and want to sleep.

2009-07-12T11:38:00.003+08:00

A New Hairstyles.....

It's a new hairstyle cut by a good hairstylist, Moses. I quite like the design that he had created. Tribal style.

2009-07-08T23:30:00.003+08:00

It's An Investment.

Does it important to spend much time in pc and games than my friends and my social life? What about people who does care about you? Relationship are hard to get a good result in investment of your time but it's worth but yet it's risky. I felt sad because what i should done in the past that i should keep good relationships to those i really appreciate. Those who care me much and spend their time and efforts on me. Those who once lost hope on me. It's been a year here, i still not found those long forged relationships. It's need time. Life is not easy but when you endured the hardship, it's worth. Relationships....how to invest a good relationships in future? Friends, lovers, partners, workers and etc. Appreciate people whom that care for you. Be rational with one and others.

2009-06-23T21:31:00.001+08:00

When Things cross through my mind.

It’s was quite an enjoyable night. Yet I still envy of people of friends that crazy around during their birthday. I think of my old past and those crazy memories of been open and crazy around with them yet I not so appreciate them. Spoil what should not be spoil, done things that make u regret. I was so mess up because of this things impacted what I am today. Been drunk is fun and enjoy but what I want to be drunk is to get rid of my problems and emotions that always makes me so bad. What I need so much of self pride yet I not that talented to do so. Negativity what I always hate in my life. It’s almost destroying me and confidence. What I am now because what I experience what in the past. I dare because I once coward. I dun care much people’s gossip of me because it’s so bored n angry to care for it. I get pride because I thought myself better than them. Humility and meekness I began to loss. Where am I now? What cause me so hard to get back myself? I lack of so much. I just pride but I not humble. Pride is stumbling me now. I need to seek back humbleness again.

2009-05-19T23:33:00.001+08:00

Panic Flu

Do you ever experience a bad flight? I had. On my way back to KL, I was on a flight. I was the worst experience flight I ever had because it makes me remember all the time. It started everything was fine but my instinct tell me there is something wrong. So I attend my flight as usual. Things go well in the flight. A few hour later, there is someone suddenly cough and get fainted in the flight, almost every flight crew go to the scene of the sick person who get fainted in his own seat. Everyone was curious of what had happen to the person. I was so panic because it’s the first time I see such things happen to me. I was afraid of the swine flu he might had. So the flight had an emergency landing at Kuching due the sick person need to go to hospital. Out of the sudden while waiting the paramedic to come to get the person, the Kuching International Airport send swine flu doctors to see him. Almost everyone was frightened and panic because of their sight. I cause me a trauma that I might get swine flu. I really afraid that I need to quarantine in Kuching for a week. Thank God that the doctor said that we were safe back to KL. The guy had serious head wound that the air pressure could cause what happen to him. Yet, I still panic he might get the flu. After I get back home, I was too paranoid of myself that I might get one of this deadly flu due to this bad flight experience. The next day later, news came out and he confirmed not suspected of having swine flu. Thank God because it really relieves my panic on myself. So far I had seen the news, things more control so far just a number of people still break loose. Hmmm, when will this sickness go? When will this season pass? I don’t know. I hope no one will get this deadly flu. Panic flu that what I call. Hope I can cope with such panic.

2009-04-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

EXIT-Horror Movie Poster

This is horror movie poster designed by me: Any comments?

It Just Need A Smile...

2009-03-29T23:37:00.003+08:00

It is just a picture i edited. Gave some meaning of the art been make.

2009-02-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

Emotions barriers

As a guy, we tend to not being so emotional than the girls. Yet I was not one of them. I sometimes always get my emotions get hold on me. It’s been bondage in me. It’s seems it start when I had the event of my roommate and I seldom had the hope to trust people in my side. I lost that faith yet slowly I tend to increase my weakness. Things are not the same anymore. I really not like to be an emotional person who can’t control his emotion all the time. I lack of conversation, understanding and etc yet I was the one who not gave the first move to let them know. I afraid was hurt again. Just as a past I done in my recent college life, relationships get worst and I been affected of it. I have lack of trust on people. Where are you my old self that care for people around you? Changes for me it is hard to get on it. It’s takes times. Lord, help me.

Today…..

2009-01-12T00:30:00.000+08:00

Today, I went to Pavilion, Sungai Wang and Times Square by myself. It’s my walk for getting relaxes from the emotions that I having this few days ago. I was going to find my friend’s law book in the bookstores available in the area. I went there by bus and it come to a traffic jam when I arrive Pavilion. OMG, why so jam on Sunday? Sunday is really a free time for people to hang out. No wonder I see why Setapak so silent on Sunday. All of them go to hang out and have fun at other places. If not, all must be sleeping like pigs at home. I truly enjoy my walk in the Pavilion for my first time. It’s really amazed me. I been walking many shopping places in KL yet Pavilion amazed me the most. It might be a good hangout for couples. I stop by at times bookstores. Wow, it was the best bookstores because I like the interior design there. Black & orange. It is really a high class places even the café in it makes me a reader a place to enjoy your book and drink a fresh brewed coffee. I really can stay longer at a bookstore for a long time just to view some comic books. I end up that I can’t the book. So I kept walking around Pavilion. I really regret that I should bring my camera with me and capture those nice architecture designs in the buildings. For those who had not been there, you guys should have a visit, if got $$$ even better…. ~v~… I had not walked the entire place yet I very satisfy. Afterward, I went to Lot 10 in order to get to Sungai Wang. Lot 10 is quite okay place anyway. They have quite good style of design and bring the metallic city feels to me. Not so very. I just pass by. When I arrived sungai wang, my mind blow up a word “WOW”. There is so many people inside the mall, I really don’t like mall that been jammed with many people. I felt like sandwiches. I try to find a bookstore yet I end up without saw one there. Where is the famous Popular and MPH? I was so frustrated of a crowded mall, I went to Times Square. I went to the border and end up again, I still can’t found that book again. My friend book is really hard to found. After all day searching for a law book, I end up nothing yet I enjoy my time alone. The very first time I went alone to famous malls alone. I not like been alone when hang out but when sometimes, I need to survey myself. I found my ambitions and purpose while I going to walk out. I think it’s better than facing the laptop screen all days. That is my Today.

2008-12-27T01:41:00.001+08:00

Bleeding heart is never easy to heal (memories 1)

It’s been 2 year since I still remember the old memories of my past. I still remember her when I come to see girls around me. It never been easy to said that I totally forgot her. I love her even we not been a relationship before. We just friends that care for each and other. I still know that she still not yet wake up from her own mistakes. It’s start from touch and caring to her when she had a problem with her boyfriend and I was been there to comfort her. I had make her smile and we got the chemistry happens. It’s been a period of time that we felt very close to each and other. We had enjoyed our time together to share her problem to me and I had comfort her in her heart that always long to seek love. What a great memories that time? I thought I had forgot it but I still remember that time.

2008-11-28T23:44:00.009+08:00

An Impression of landscape...

KLCC....an angle of sun set...

does it gaves u the mood or not? What is it?

Cloud of skies that got a sickles....

the public bank landscape...

2008-11-15T13:10:00.002+08:00

SEDANG MEMBAIKI...

It's been a while that i had not blogging. I think my blog need to do some unmaintained for a while. One of my friend my blog is too emo. I think it's quite emo for this blog. EMO BLOG. I seems to emotional for a guy. Guy's emo world like it's very makes me like a pessimist. So lawrencent.blogspot are under maintenance

2008-10-16T23:03:00.003+08:00

I had no ideas of topic...

It's been months that i had not blogging. This first new semester are really hard for me to adept it. Things are not the same anymore. New friends and new faces. I not so like changes. Although change is good for me too, but things that been get used for 3 months, everything need to do it again. Relationship need to built up again. Time need to be spend in assignment and studies which are my true priorities in my college life and friends too. When the time goes on, i see many real face of my friends in life. Who are caring friend and who are those can be throw away to dustbin. Things here are not as easy to adept at all. I will try my best.

2008-09-19T01:04:00.002+08:00

Noob + Pride:

Noob + Pride, this is what I found myself in a game of volleyball. I recognize how weak I am in the sport and I still keep my pride high all the time. Yet i am not so good in something , yet no heart n i still pride. Pride, what a dangerous things in my life. I had sense that i am weak. I am pride even i am weak. I even pride in God's eyes. I am weak, I am strong, that what the Word had said, God gave us grace when we are weak. I need to improve my life and let myself down to humbleness. It is not easy to do. How comfort i am in my home? I realize it now. I sometimes regret the time i had wasted in my previous life. My mistakes. Self discipline is what i need to learn.

2008-07-27T18:33:00.000+08:00

I hate it....

It’s been a long time I didn’t update my blog. I had not updated for 3 months since I come to the life here. Few days ago, my mood been full of cloud and negative thoughts keep wondering in my mind. I felt bored in here. I seems hard to get survive. Sometimes I neglected some friends in my college too. Sigh. Even I notice myself I got less accountable friend with me. Even my roommate, he not the one and he is even worse than me. A lonely heart dwells in him. Sigh. The football co-cum had held in college. I been try my best to make a ball kick but I can’t do it. I so disappointed to myself and I fail and fail so many times in football. I felt that I had no talent at all in football. I felt so shame of myself. What had happen to me? I had spoken f**k word every time and I still can’t get control of it. What happen to me? AHAH…..Is I still can’t get used? I felt alone. My old attitude rise back. I don’t want to fail my diploma and studies again. I been failed my STPM. Sigh. I write again the stupid title again like the past ago. Sigh…

2008-06-15T13:33:00.003+08:00

My first sketch

It’s been the second week of my study life here. I went into the introduction to art and the lecturer gave us work which is sketching your hand phone. So I began to draw my phone. This is what I had done.

First edition

Second edition

There are some I edited by myself with Adobe Photoshop. It is just a simple editing only.

After I had done my sketching n gave it to the lecturer, she said that I done a quite good job and need to improve in toning and shadow skill oh. Really a bad sketch for me but at least I had done my best in it. So next time I can try my best to improve my sketching skill next time. I saw my friend artwork, he done a very nice sketch on his hand phone. He is a talented guy on art. I really amazed on him. This is my beginning of my learning life in here.

2008-05-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

Life is Hard

Just 2 days, so many things need to learn and it's never been easy like in KL. I come here and start with zero. Things need to manage by myself. It's hard. At least, i got a friend and my sisters with me and my whole family to support me. So, i will not easily updated my blog because of the line here sucks and now my place no line. My friends those who are christian, pray for me. Thank You.

2008-05-06T20:56:00.002+08:00

Leaving

I will be leaving to KL on 12 May to further my studies. For a long time in my very nice n peaceful hometown, it's time that i need to leave for my future n my maturity. I miss my home, my friends that I so care about,my colleagues, my Pardo, my parents and aunt and my church. I will miss all of them in here. So much of the precious memories in this town, Sandakan. I need remember each of them which lead me to what I am today. When I leave, things will never be same. Life in there also never be the same. I will said Good Bye to my comfort zone n go to a battlefield of life in there where i can learn n experience new things. Now, i just prepare before I leave my hometown. I will be back for CNY next year. God guide me in KL. So, everyone who still in this hometown take care of yourself. Bye.

2008-04-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

Cherish While They Are Still Here

It’s been 2 months I had not updated my blog. I been lazy to updated it and busy with working in my own hometown. Cherish, a word that keep a great meaning in my life. I learn to cherish while my friends still here with me. Things changed, life change, people change. I remember the memories of all of my best pals in life come and help me in my life ups n downs. But now, things changed and some of them will not be close as we once are. I remember one of my friends who had lost contact with me. I still wonder how he is now. I still thinking what can I said to him since there are so much hurtful past in him? What words I can say to him? I do cherish my friend before he leaves us all to study. Miss him, my best pal. Cherish while they are still here, a words really good for those who had know its real meaning. Friends come and go, so cherish them while they are still here. If not, you will regret it one day. It’s never been easy to keep a friendship last long. The moment of the past had teach me to cherish while still can. I also think that it never easy to do so sometimes. Anyway, I hope all my friends are fine and healthy and been blessed by God all the days of their life. For my friends, I hope that we still keep in touch. God Bless all my loving friends.

2008-02-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year 2008

As tradition, all members of the family will be back for Chinese New Year for a reunion dinner. Such traditional is a great concept of a family gathering as the draw the family together and strengthens the bonds between each others. Sincerely to said, I not fully like some of the traditional of my own race such as lion dance (bored at it), but I do respect on it. One of the meaningful traditions is reunion dinner. I like reunion dinner and I stated as an important event of my life. I great to see all my family member to be happy and chit chat. So happy to see the faces of smile and the sound of jokes come from them. All my sisters had back home and I do enjoy my fellowship with them all and our hang out together. I do miss them much as they are the one who loved me so much since I was small. Thank God for 2 sisters that so cared about me even what I had changed too. Just like an Malay idiom “air dicincang tidak akan diputus”, no matter what happen, we are still family. Thank You, God, for blessed all the time and we endure the time together. My sister had said to me, I’m more matured than I used to be. I quite glad for me that she saw me happy and not as I was, who once sad for no reason. It’s a new year; life has to be changed for the better. God guide me through out my maturity. I do meet my friends who had back from all places from where they studies. They all back for the CNY. I’m glad to see them in a smiling face. Many people had changed and more matured. Time goes by so fast. I also see myself had changed too. One thing is important although so much changed in time which is appreciate people surround you; who cared and love you. One more thing which is the most vital of all, the intimate relationship with God. Thank you, God. Happy Chinese New Year to all. Have a nice pai nian yah. God Bless.

2007-12-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

It's Christmas Eve

glitter-graphics.com

Tonight, my beautiful and old church will having a dinner and carol events. I hope i can enjoy the time in it. It's christmas eve. Christmas is all about our Saviour, Jesus Christ came to this world to redeem us all in 2 thousand years ago. God sent Him to us to save us all from the bondage of sin. How great is He who had sent His only son top redeem us all. Christmas is not all about santa, shopping and giving. It's a celebration that God had came to save us all. The hope He has given throughout this season had make us free. That's what all christmas about. In this modern world, Tv and media always impact and influence the mind of people to believe santa and etc but Jesus. Christmas, a message to all the world that they can be saved by believing Him as their personal Saviour and gave your life to Him. It's a free gift to heaven. God Bless U all. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

2007-11-06T21:11:00.001+08:00

A Glimpse Of Memories

Just today onward, it’s the days I will face the real world. A glimpse of memories of 2 years will store in my mind. As today is the last days at school, my form 6 school, sung siew secondary school, there is quite much I miss those moments. Memories of the past plus the present, so much I had learned from these years. Learning to communicate, learn to see people, and etc. I got some friends I know since the last 2 years in my school. Anyway, it’s just a memory that will keep in me. When time goes by, many things will change, people will change, all change but God will not changed. A step to the society world after my own STPM exam and planning for my own future. A glimpse of memories as dwell in my mind as the days goes by. May the pasts’ mistakes become teaching in the future. For not dwell anymore in the past and learn to forget it. Sweet and bitter memories. For now, I just want to get well in my STPM exam. God help me this time. God bless u all that is in SPM and STPM exams. God Bless.

2007-10-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

Just Get On

After receive effective comments from someone I don’t know, I just need go on in my life and take changes inside of me. It’s been right; no one can save me beside myself. No more sad and negative character. Now just left 43 days to STPM, do what I can and be in the Lord’s guide always. It’s just me to take the change of myself and I need to be mature. No more childish thoughts. Sorry for those who offended in the previous achieve. Just get it on and continue to get a blessed life with God. No more self pity, control my flesh and get a good results and bear consequences. That’s all. Thanks for the comments.

2007-10-03T14:19:00.000+08:00

True friend are hard to find

Friends. Hard to know what the really meaning of “friend”, especially true friend. It is very hard to find true friends. There is some friend close with u just for taking some advantages from me. Some those lie and cheat me for a certain purpose to not reveal their secret darkness and sins. Some are not truthful. I got one among the friends that I know whom just close to me for certain events and matters. I hate such things happen to me. What have I chosen all the time? Have I done something wrong? So much of kindness draw unto them, they just blind and not repay what I have done to them. Am I taking something that I had given? I don’t know. Some got see what I had done but there is some got see what i had done on them but still not close to me. Is that I not sacrifice much in them. Is that I’m not take some time to know what happen to them? What happen? Time changed, people changed. People changed, friendship changed. So much in life that I need to learn. Is that sometimes I not spend much time in them? What about me? Do they spend their time in me? Do they know what really happen to me? Thank God that I still have my 3 best pals and my own sisters and family. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have? But sometimes, when I back to school or church, I didn’t sense the presence of closeness friendship, some are on their own business, some with others, some had their work to do. For works, I don’t mind much but for those who always mind their own business, I not like it. Hey, what I had done in your life is that useless and hopeless at all? Y u just minds your own business than go to care me? Is that I done something wrong in their life? I really don’t know at all. Something I done wrong, they didn’t tell. Only those who are really close with me, especially my best pals, they told me. Thank God for He had given me such close friends who really help me. Sigh…I really don’t understand sometimes, y such things happen in my surrounding? I thought it come to an end since I left secondary school. Sigh. At least, I still got some who really cares for me. Be grateful always. One things at all, God never changed. He is the real True and Best friend at all times.

2007-08-29T14:47:00.000+08:00

Old Memories

The pictures is like a reflection of the old memories. Old memories come to my mind when I see the old pictures of the past. Many thoughts come to my mind. During those times, we all were happy. I did all that I didn’t think of what I had done it before. Happy, sadness, crazy and foolish moments of the past. Things change fast. Time tick fast too. Those old memories that make me joy and sorrow. The happiness times with my best gang, the past and sad tragedy, mission trip moments, helping to make events such as concerts and camps moments, and etc. Although it was happy and sorrow those precious moments but things change now. Last night, I called my best friend in KK, things and people change when u gets older. He himself also was changed. I saw so many of my best pals in the gang of friends had change. Time past, people change, things change, surrounding change and me also change. People change now. My once best pal become common pal, their mind set change and I began not to suite their kind of thinking. Many problems when I grow up. Relationship problems, friendship problems, study problems, and many more. Things make me to grow up and be mature. My surrounding friends also change due to their surrounding. Change in their mind set, perspectives in life and people and etc. The closeness I had in them had change since the friendship gone into problem. Besides that, I might cause some problem by myself but sometimes I do no what I have done. Trust…sigh. People will changed, but God never change at all. That’s what important. Happy moments were the past. Sorrow moments were the past too. Past is past, gone is gone, lost is lost, just accept the situation although things goes wrong and try to make it well back. If can’t, just let it to God. A friend of mine, a best friend too will go to KL to study; yet all of my friends will miss him. He will be left, so I just accept it. I might be sad for I missed so much in our friendship but things will change. Just go my life. I will try to keep myself to keep in touch with them all. I don’t want a situation when 10 years later we meet back will be nothing to said. I hope God still sustain my friendship with all my friends who are close. Things change, people change but God never changes. When people change, just accept it. When u done a wrong step, just don’t regret it and think to get it done till u have to let it to God. Think well before I take a step. Make decision well. Practice more to improve myself. Things gone, it had gone so just stand up and get going. Memories just become a moment to reflect what u had wrong and what u have done in persons’ life. Old Memories are good to reflect back in my mind but not dwell in it. Past had past, so get going towards. That’s all. God Bless all my friends and you all.

2007-08-23T18:22:00.000+08:00

Been matured

There is so much to learn in life. A few days ago, I learn to see a friend’s character. Deal with difficult situation with a good way. Learn to stand up. Learn to be mature in mind, physical and soul. Just life there is too much to learn. So much till u can’t learn all of them but what is more important is God. My life messed up because I lost Him. I’m not depending on Him all the time. I not put Him first. I tend to done it by myself. I lazy. That what Danny said to me? Really makes me learn something in life. Life just not about having a girl friend (for me lah), have fun all the time but life is about serving and glorifying God. What I lost all the time? My relationship with Him. His presence in me. His love is what really matters to me. What more to said is just get into Him. The others becoming second. I just need to learn that kind of relationship with Him. Close one. God guide me all the way and according to Your will. Just as:

Matthew 6:33 :

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

2007-08-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

Haiz.....

Just been guilty for what has done for the past. Spread somethings that not true to others like gossip spread out yet the person is innocent. It had done and makes me guilty and simpathy to the person. The tragedy all was just a misunderstanding. Last year, tragedy just simply a misunderstanding when not confronting with the person that had make wrong in front of my eyes. What more can do? Pass is pass. Gulity was felt in my heart for what i had make a person's name spoil because of my words. So sorry for her for what i had done for a long time? Since our friendship was broken, and now was been repaired and better. I was so sorry for what i had said to my friends that she is not good. Yet she is innocent. Sigh, what more can do? Sorry....i pray that i will not make the same mistakes again. God guide me all the time.

2007-08-04T15:21:00.000+08:00

LEARNING

There is so much to learn in life. So much, yesterday i had learn. Learn to sacrifice at good friends life. Learn to communicate and deal with a problem. Life sometimes can said is a process of learning. So much things happen in my life, sad and happy, just need to go on. Me just think negative site always. It's time to think what is positive now. I hope i can deal with it well. Love, Truth & Faith, is what is essential in friendship. God guide me all the way.

2007-07-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

DONNO....

Life just seems hard to move on or me just self pity. Friends tend to say me something or I been bad. Sucks…sucks…sucks….y I always said suck…..life in comfort zones seems more not to suites to me now. Which to go out but I didn’t put effort on it? How to go out from this zone? How? HOW? Studies so suck and just seems want to give up. I don’t want to do so. Give up is more sucks later. Y I’m suck? I know…is just I was lazy. Wasted 1 year to play and have fun. WASTED…WASTED…lost, lazy and sleeper. Y me can’t wait till the end that I can rest as much as I can, play as much as I can and etc? WHY? I lost a part to the world. LOST…i need to go up again. EVERY DAY STRUGGLE TO battles my flesh. Lose most of the time. Guys…who are those to hold the responsible? Search what is love? Love is from God. Just at 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Help myself is the way. Hoping u guys who read this gave some comment what should I do and overcome?

2007-06-23T12:36:00.000+08:00

Appreciate what u got….

Appreciate what u got. That’s what I learn from my sister blog. Friends are there to you to be care of them. To be a brother in Christ among them. Time was there for me to study. A foolish acts of me that I not appreciate at the most of them. Things go bad because what moves I make. I realized there still friends really care me, God care me and I am not alone at all. My friends were far from me, but still understand me. My life are been help by them that God so blessed to gave me them. God actually help me much in life through the vessel of blessing of my friends in other places. I just blind from the lies of the devil and make me do foolish act that might hurt them. Lord guides me. I now need to appreciate what I have now. Once I left my hometown, life needs to restart again. Thank You, God for so much you had help me even I been hurt u before. Let me the man after Your own heart, Lord. For what u had been said to me last year. Guide me to be a caring and humble person that can reflect the glories of Your name. In Jesus name, I prayed. Amen.

2007-06-23T12:17:00.000+08:00

{REWRAP}

It’s been 4 months that I not been blog. It’s been a long time that my old and caring friend, Joash had gone to Tawau. I miss my friend so much. Words that he had help me much all this time. Words that he encouraged me to be brave in communication, becoming a positive person and caring person. Every advice still got some memories in me. I had been told that I was once a guy who was rewrap into a present paper that warp in a box. I stuck there for a long time that I struggle to came out. I had out from the box and the present paper, to see what beyond me, my own thinking. Think out of the box that what he mostly mention. My story begins from my secondary school hood; I was once a negative and angry person. Life sucks during that moment. Been alone is not fun at all. Since I enter form 6, I realized that I just think negatively all the time. Been alone and unhappy person, I was less been approach by friends around me. They hard to realized what am I thinking about. Those words really change my life; I began to post an archive from my blog since then. His words had changed me much. Not him also, my other caring friend, Augustine also help me much in my life too. Since after the tragedy, I rewrap back. I foolishly take steps to ~rewrap~ my own self again. For almost a year or half year, I had been negative again. I thought I was hurt deeply but it’s just a misunderstanding. Last night and 2 days ago, I realized so many things from some friends, the tragedy had been healed and solve is due to everyone weakness, the 2 faces friends that I realized in my life, and selfishness dwell in my group of friends. What happen actually? I so realized so many things that it’s hurt me much and makes me confused. I realized that it’s better to give than receive. That is what I done last year. I stop doing so because misunderstanding and hurts that dwell in me all the time. Blind by gossip and lost because not see the truth clearly. Almost to lost the friendship that I was once misunderstand. There is so much to learn in a period of life. It’s hard to be mature. I was foolish that I had been ~rewrap~. Not caring others and me too. Life sucks and friendship torn to something that I didn’t know. I was alone because what I choose the way to be. How foolish I am? Life needs to go on. God guide me.

2007-01-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

Is my cross standing at a site?

Is my cross standing at a way between the road to hell and heaven? Is my cross that i should bear had stand in a place and I walk on my own. It's does happen to me. I was walk on my own. My own ways, pleasure, freedom and desire. I was exchausted, tired and dry up. For I was walk on my own. The cross represent the suffering and pain I will endure in the walk of life to eternity. I had put it aside in the way to Heaven. Walk on my own desire had makes me suffer. I falled to my past and worried of future. I didn't control myself. I been scolded or puting false hope in my friends and family. What had happen to me? This all because I put my cross aside in the road. I cry to the Lord for what I have done. Lord, I lifted my sorrow and failure to you. Lord, forgive me that I had put my cross aside. My cross once lifted high in the way to You. Now Lord, I want to lifted the standing cross and bear it to walk for the days of my life.

The word of God said:
Luke 8:34 said:
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

I want to carried back my own cross to walk back. Lord, guide me. After 29 days after the new years, i failed many test of my school studies. Lord, guide me to be hardworking and filled with the Holy Spirit to work. I will not gamble for my own future. God, surely You are there to guide me in my life.

A word of God that my friend, angela who had help me to refers at.It had refresh my soul:

Luke 8:4-15 (New International Version)

While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."

When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that,

" 'though seeing, they may not see;
though hearing, they may not understand.'

"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

2007-01-25T15:21:00.000+08:00

Weakness…

Now was 25 day after New Year, I had been for some days in certain mood and seasons. Just now been quarrel with my father for his car. Sick of him because he has no patient to me at all and no faith at me. He just simply thinks of his own car and never let me independent to drive the family car. Why he never thinks that his son will take care of his car although he has weakness on driving? He can simply teach instead of scolding all the time. Last time when my sister get a car license, she just drive for a while and make some minor scratch in the car, my father completely didn’t allow her to drive the car. I was weak recently. I was lazy and playful. Enjoying the freedom in school without proper ways of studies. Sleep mostly. It’s seems I had forgotten my goal and aims in my life. Life is too comfort in this small town of Sandakan. Just a few days, I just know what is my goal in life which are I got to get a scholarship after STPM and tried to get to study at Singapore. Can I make these goals to happen? I am confused. I see my studies had left for so many chapters a year ago. I’m lazy and playful when I was in school last year. Thought the last year camp I did learn something but I didn’t apply it all. I quite bad and I were not as honest as I was. I quite pride and thinking that I can do it all. In reality, I was not. Self-discipline matters. This what I had lack for a year ago. I lack of it till I didn’t bother my homework and future. Teachers had given so much advice that I should study hard and smart because the future is in my hand. I do listen to them and trying to apply in my life but I didn’t apply all. Is that I was too lazy to do my homework and lies too much to my friend that saying I’m busy. Certain time, I was surfing in the Internet for many hours till I forgot my work to do. I lack of my self-control. Is the self-esteem makes me like this? I really don’t know. I will try to make the first step to study. Now I quite have done it. I might need to read many books for my knowledge in my blank brain. Sigh…weakness in me. I need to control myself now. God help me.

2007-01-01T19:40:00.000+08:00

Histories of 2006, New Resolutions Of 2007

The past of 2006 had gone by yesterday time pass through 12 a clock. The past was a great memory in my life. The year of breakthrough, hurts, experiences, failures, sufferings, God’s miracles, healing, comforting, friendship strengthen, and etc. This blog as began at April 2006. The began of the event called Festival Of Praise 2006 in St Michael church, my own church. The archive said the event that will change my life. It really changes my life styles. 2 years ago, I was a guy that so silent, complain, sensitive, negative and selfish. I was remembering when I always complain about this and that when I was in the some camp, I was always complain about the food, accommodation and etc. How silly I was that day? The year 2006, I was begun to work as a youth volunteer at my church for 3 month. After days after the beginning of the work, I and my best pal and bro, ah chuen go for training for 2 weeks in Telupid. At there I was learn to be grateful, positive and keep my faith in God. There was the time when I learn to talk and communicate well, be brave when talk to a girl. When the event, Festival of Praise, it was an event that help me to stand myself up to walk the road as a Christian. Taking the cross of Jesus Christ is not easy. After it, the dance called Not Ashamed by planet shakers album, Evermore. That began I suddenly dwell into a misunderstanding relationship with a girl. It was a hard and hurtful times to endure the pain of been rejected but many people help me, advice me and share to carry my burden. Thank God for my sis, Jenny, my best pals, Gabriel, Ah Chuen, Joash and etc. It was not easy to forget a person that I love but I can go through it by God and my best friends that helps me. So much things that I had happen in my life, I began to have many girl friends and have a good relationship with God, be humble and grateful, be brave and courage to face the problems in my life, getting know a gal from school who had been my little sis and etc. A friend of mine in KK, Pearle also helps me much through the year and advice me much through the spiritual life with God. She advice me not to dwell in the past and stand strong to go forward in life. Thank you for your advice my friend. I began to lower my type of friend that I will get know. I began to know new friends from the Impact Generation camp 2006. I began to know Joseph who was a kind and caring guy, Joy Ng who easy to forget my face…hehe, Michele Liew, a gal who was friendly, Debra who was my big sis’s friend and friendly too, Soo Man, Amos, Adam, Vanessa, Enfee and George Lai who was a guy I know in sdk. Besides them, I also had know some new friends. In the camp, I had been through many breakthroughs in worship and prayers. I began to courage up to pray to God and heard calling in the camp. I met my sis, Jenny and others from tell the world camp 2005. A month ago from the camp, I had gone to a mission trip at sugut, paitan and nangod in the interior of Sabah. There I was learned that I was grateful and blessed life in my hometown. The places in there got many people still have not know God yet and the love of God. That why the places still need us as Christian to care, loves and spread the love of God to them. Tell them that they still have hope. There I was learned to work together with my Bm friends in the church. There was I learned the fellowship of brother and sister in Christ when working together to serve. Many things I had learned throughout the year 2006. It is time to make new things in my life in this New Year 2007. I want to be more strong in faith in God, serve Him wholeheartedly, restore broken relationships with friends, make new friends, help each and other in my life, less go out to cyber, use money wisely, began to play back my old guitar, play new songs, put my whole effort in my studies, think twice before doing something or talk to someone, read the whole bible this year, and spend more of my time with God. Thank you God for the blessing that you had given to me. God will guide me throughout the days of my life. Thank you, God.

2006-12-29T14:09:00.000+08:00

Chrismas Day Celebration.....

A week ago, my friends and I busy preparing the presentations for Christmas Eve, 24 December 2006. All of us were tired and exhausted for the dance and sketch that we are preparing for God. It was tired and busy days a week ago because almost 7 days every week after back from Impact Generation camp, we got to start working for the presentation because it’s just a 2 weeks later. It was fun and exciting. Though it was very tired till less of sleep, we had learn that our relationship with God had strengthen and the relationship of each of others in the dance team. But there some of us had not strengthened the relationship. It’s depends to them. So many things I had learned this year, the year of breakthrough I can pronounce it. Though the pass hurts and sadness has gone, it help me to learn to stand up for Jesus, stand up to walk this road to a close relationship with God. On Christmas day, I get 3 gifts; one of it was a beautiful and funky t-shirt from my closest friend, Gabriel. It was cool and great to have a t-shirt. One of it is a multi-purpose thing, I don’t how to described it and one is a gift I yet not received yet from 2 beautiful gals in the youth gangs. I hope next year is the year to advance for the Lord. The year that I learned to face, the year of suffering of study for the exam called STPM. God, You will lead me till the end.

2006-12-28T16:17:00.000+08:00

IMPACT GENERATION CAMP…

A few weeks ago, my friends and I go to the diocese English youth camp held in All Saints’ Cathedral, KK. Our church youth, which are around 30 people, had joined the camp. It was a great camp that I had ever joined before. The first camp that I had so much breakthrough in it. What matters the most is the relationship with God has been increased into a deeper level. It was fun and great. The worship was great. I get know many new friends and meet my loving sister in the camp. I was miss my sister so much. She was the mentor of my spiritual life in my relationship with God. Anyways, I do no why recently I do no what to type in my blog. Here’s some picture in the camp. It’s was a great moment in my life.

I need to blame the camera man for his/her skill. Just kiding for the camera man. LOL...too blurr...Hey, why ah zung see the sky? Oh...he must see some chicks up there..haha..

The sneaker of the year, that's me. I'm innocent. Don't shoot me. The face...lol. Sneak at 3 person head. If you see clearly, Gabriel's mouth still got chicken in it. Haha. A pirate eyes at my back..hehe..just kiding my friend.

The awesome, delicious and juicy maggi mee that i'm eating.Wah so deliciciuos that look whle it may work to tempt others to eat. LOL..hey eric is promoting the handphone.

It's ah zung's birthday. He is so happy with the double chocolate cake, CAKIE. Haha, it's just a moisture chocolate cake with some grapes on it.

The cutting of cakie by ah zung. Wah waiting to eat it delicious cake....Nyam Nyam...

I and my sister, jenny in the camp at the last night of the camp. Miss her so much....

Our Xone gangs of St Michael Church, hey...why ah chuen at the back like want to bless us?? Haha...

Thank you, God for giving me a life that so blessed and joyful.

2006-11-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

On Mission.....

Starting by tommorow, i will be going a short term mission trip to nangod, sugut and paitan (interior of Sabah) for 3 days and 2 night. Going to spread the gospel of God to the lost souls. May God protects me. I prayed that He will guide all of the mission team all the days of our trip.

2006-11-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

Speechless......

I had been bored and speechless yesterday. Do no what had happen to me? Sigh..donno wat to say. That why i put the title"speechless". 2 more days , i will go to mission to Sugut in the interior of Sabah. Hope i can do well. Sigh....

2006-11-19T21:31:00.000+08:00

Thank you God ('',)

Thank You God.

For You had guide till this days.

Though there was been many seasons.

Seasons of joy and sorrow.

Though it is hard to endure

but worth to do it.

For it bring to the eternal life,

a close relationship to You, Lord.

God, i thank you that given me friends

that guide me, bear my burden,

share my emotions, listen to me and share joy.

Thanks that You had given me, 2 loving sister,

though they were busy in their life,

still take some times to help me,

loving me and cares for me.

Lord, i thank You for them.

Till now You had guide me.

To path of a close relationship with You.

Thank You, God.

2006-11-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation
so why should I afraid?
The Lord protects me from danger
so why should I tremble?
When evil people come to destroy me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will know no fear.
Even if they attack me, I remain confident.
The one thing I ask of the Lord
the things I seek most
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord's perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
For he will conceal me there when troubles come;

he will hide me in his sanctuary.

He will place me out of reach on a high rock.

Then I will hold my head high,

above my enemies who surround me.

At his Tabernacle I will offer sacrifices

with shouts of joy,

singing and praising the Lord with music.

Listen to my pleading, O Lord.

Be merciful and answer me!

My heart has heard you say,

"Come and talk with me."

And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

Do not hide yourself from me.

Do not reject your servant in anger.

You have always been my helper.

Don;t leave me now; don't abandon me,

O God of my salvation!

Even if my father and mother abandon me,

the Lord will hold me close.

Teach me how to live, O Lord.

Lead me along the path of honesty,

for my enemies are waiting for me to fall.

Do not let me fall into my hands.

for they accuse me of things I've never done

and breathe out violence against me.

Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness

while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wit patiently for the Lord.

(Scripture from New Living Translation Bible)

2006-11-16T16:21:00.000+08:00

Failed…

I had failed. I failed my exam. I get the second lowest in my class. I was wondering what had happen to me. I still don’t know where I want to study in my future. I seem hopeless and sad. Many things had happened to my life. Misunderstanding relationship, friends will or might go to leave my hometown, church life, talking skill, fake mask, and others. What happen to me? I wasted so much time in this year. Till now I don’t know what I want to do in my future. It’s waste me a year. Sigh…sigh…seems hopeless to me. I have faith in God that He will lead me but I myself having problems. I want this and I want that. Sigh…. I also wasted my parent’s money to play at cyber cafes. Wasted so much money. Why did I go there to play? I hate to bore. I want to get off from boredom. In this age, many things changed. People surrounding had changed. Some were good and some were bad. Thank God for those who had changed to good. I now was self-pity. I have sin against God. I keep doing things that I should not do even I had prayed to God. Sigh. The person or character that I hate the most is hypocrite. Even I myself almost like them. Sigh. Sigh. I’m confused. I also want a girl friend in this time. Sigh. So I can know girls more and more. I’m 18 now and still never dated before. I know God will give the best but I’m not patient and causing myself hurt during the misunderstanding relationship recently. During the moment, I was hurt and rejected. What I had lacked off? Is that I’m not handsome enough or good enough? A guy who loves God and a heart to serve God, she can’t see. Sigh. I let it. Just continue the friendship. I’m too selfish during that time. I felt I was wasted so much time on it till my study had been neglected. Not the moment too, I’m too caring for my “kei mui” too, I was cared her till she was sensitive too me. What should I do? Serve man is never been easy. That’s why my sis told me that I should serve God because it’s eternal. I still confused of myself and I felt I was a failure. Sigh. Lord what should I do? Guide me, Jesus. For you are my strength and comforter. Jesus guides me till the eternity. Sigh…

2006-11-06T11:16:00.000+08:00

Friends.....

Friends. It really matters to me for my life. They shared with me. My sorrow, sadness, serving, happiness, and etc. The friends that helps me is my friends in church. They impact my life to serve God. I thanls God that He has given friends that helps me and guide me. Hehe....in the upside pic, the first guy from left is my best friend, Gabriel then Rev Clarence Fu, our new rector of St Michael Church, then Fei Ping, a friend and leader to me in my youth fellowship and in worship team and the last guy is me who wear bodyglove t-shirt. I not so know my rector because i quite scare him. Donno why. I know him is a vision man and godly man. This picture is taken from the BM JAM+2 concert a month ago. Friend in my church had help me much in my life. We work together and go around together. It was a great moment in my life in church. Yet sometimes i felt alone because i don't have a girl friend but God has given me friends that cares me by my side. A month ago, i got some problems in my life. A misunderstanding relationship with a close girl friend of mine. She is too close to me till I was misunderstood of her and I began have feeling on her. I said my feeling to her that i got some feeling to her, she just said that i just been a good friend to her. Nothing more than that. I had been make 3 times confirmation on it and yet she said the same. It's makes me hurts because of this misunderstanding but teaches me to patiently wait from God that He will provide a best girl friend to me. I am still single and never been date before. Just sometimes, when I'm 18 years old, these kind of feeling that bring me to find a gal for me. But i still not yet mature and responsible, so I wait and prayed to God about it.

Lazy to talk more on it. Just makes me think too much on it then think negative on it. Today, i was lazy to go to school. Yesterday, i was too tired in the church. I slept late then in my youth cell time, they play games in the hill in Taman Tshun Ngen. The places were hard to trek. I was been already too tired because lackness of rest yet need to trek the hill ah. It's makes me too tired. Then I need to back to church to practise carolling and interchurch worship practise, makes me more tired. I was too busy to run there around in the church to take cables and sit back to the sits of choirs. I was one of the choirs in the interchurch project. Yet that moment I need to help my friend, Wai yee to help in sound management. Makes me more tired and no mood to talk. Yet i need some words of encouragement at my side, no one said it to me. Sigh but some of them still can ask me how r u?

Friends really matters to me. For me, friends that put me in their heart matters to me. I thank for friends that cares me a lot in my youth life. I really miss my brother in Christ, Ah Chuen in KK. He is the guy that guides me much in my church life. Gabriel and Joash too. This 3 guys had help me much in my life. They were my 3 best friends in my life. Girls ah. Less because I still donno how to talk with girls yet. But I will try my best to cherish my friendship with my girl friends. I admit that I am quite a silent person. Maybe is that reason that i seldom talk much with girls la. Now I was still learning to get know with girls. I will know that God will guide me in my life. I wish that I will be in the youth camp earlier so I can get know more girls. Hehe. I need to cherish my friends that guide me much. Thank you God for you given me friends.

2006-10-25T10:35:00.000+08:00

Living Out From Fantasy World. A Step In A Real World......

It has been a long time i had not updated my blog. My pc condemn for a month already. Now just get fixed up. As we were teen, we tend to see many kind of entertainment. Entertainment such as watching drama, movie, tv, playing computer games, disco, and etc. It's normal for us human to seek entertainment because we need to release our stress, problem and bored. Mostly we tend to live in a fantasy world from the entertainment. If we too obsess to entertainment (playing computer ganes or watch movie, drama or tv), we will fantay in it. For example, we fantasy about the lovers in a love drama or fansay of being a victorious warrior in a adventureous world in the computer games. If we too fantasy about it, we might or will live in those fantasy. Living in the fantasy world cause us to avoid to be real in a real world. Certain problems in our life, we should not in a fantasy mode (dreaming not to face the problem). Instead, we should responsible on the problem that we had done and find ways to save it. It's better to find ways to solve it than just dreaming or fantasy in the mind. It waste time to fantasy. It saves our time when we go to find ways to solve the problem instead leaving it alone or lazy to deal it. One thing that is we should seek God's help to help us to solve the matter. We can't solve the problems in our lofe by ourself because our strength are limited. If we do it by our own strength till the final stage, we will get tired, depress and no mood. By God, we can did it. God will guide us in it and he will bless us more than we expected. It's help us to strengthen our faith in Him. Anyways, it better for us to solve it in a real world than just leave it and fantasy in tv or etc.

2006-07-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

Gossip.....A Plague That Destroy Relationship......

Gossip.....A plague that will destroy relationship. It just like a fire burns the whole village. Gossip had been a bad things in life. Why people love to gossip? Aren't they will bored of gossip people that is innocent. Even it is real, speak frankly to the person that should know. Why people need to spread gossip that can hurt people. Haven't they think that when other person gossip at them, how will they fell. It's very hurtful. Even it can make people not trusted to the person who gossip around and the people around him/her. It's makes relationship broken. If the member of a team or an organization will split up into different group and will not united together. Gossip is like a plague that had affected people in my hometown. A single gossip can make people not trust you again. If a gossip spread around in a church, the church will not united as one body. We will fall apart and unable to united together to serving God. That why I sick of gossip and lies. I decided to speak frankly and honestly. I had known the consequences of spreading gossip. It was cruel thing that had hurt much people. As christian, we must not gossip. We must encourage our friends and leader all the time instead of spreading cruel and hurtful gossip.
In James 3: 2 - 6 in the Bible (New Living Translation):

"We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also themselves in every other way. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a tiny rubber makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can get a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself."

That is why gossip is a bad things in our life. It hurt people heart. Just like backstab a person.

What Happens When We Lie?
• We damage relationships with others

• We poison our own soul
Psalms 58: 3 – 4 “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies. Their venom is like the venom of a snake, like that of a cobra that has stopped its ears.”

• We will face God’s judgment
Revelations 21: 8 “…all liars - their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

: A one of the weekly sermon at Church of Holy Saviour, Labuan http://www.cohs.info/sermons.htm

We should speak frankly to people because gossip hurt people's heart. If a heart had been hurt, it's hard to heal. The truth will set you free.

2006-07-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

Among The Differences

I had dream before to write a book that title's "Among The Differences", a story about how to became a friends among different people and races. Recently, i had just drove my dad's car and i had not drove it well because i still not used to it. My father scolded my all my way to drive the car because i still seems nervous and not used of the car. Sigh....me might get a "saman" from a police because driving so fast when turn to left/right. Sigh.....my fathers always scold me when i drive the car careless, but i must learn to patient from my father oh because he is an very easily angry person oh. Actually my father is an ok and caring person but he sometimes scolded people don't see the condition. Among the difference, i used to be among different people with different age, group, races and custom. I can used to have friend with malays, chinese, indian(that ok a bit lah because not very used to them) and kadazan. I less though off reputation, ranks, and wealth to see people but sometimes see at face la. I got work at church as a youth volunteer for 3 month, so i get used with my kadazan (speak malay one lah) friends and i had gone to the kampung (village) or at BDC(a place where many foreign citizen lives and a poverty) to have a ministry (children ministry) and helping to takes some clothes to give to the kids at there. It's a good time because I had never gone there. Among different people is something that i already used to be. My best friends from the youth cell are someones is from different background and family. They had help me much in my life. I just now realized that God had given me many different kinds of friends in my life. Thanks God. I never look down on the malay spoken people but i just don't like some of them whose attidude that is not very good. Mostly chinese people at my school (now la) not very used with malay people but i can interact with some of them. Crazy around with them, jokes around, and etc. It's a good moment when we are among differences people because everyone in this world is unique. Yet I still learn to comunicate with people well (especially girls) and ask God for a willing heart to help me. Wah, what a unique group that consist people that are from different background, races, and etc and work together up. Oh Lord guide me through my social life. Tonight I need to pray to God oh. Today i got learn about disipline of prayer from the sermon. The rector said that prayer can lead you to have a good relationship with Him and comunicate with Him. I need to pray much oh because I seldom pray already. I want to discipline myself to pray everyday so that i can learn and have a good relationship with God. Now i heard the songs from the album: Hillsong United We Stand, it's a good songs to hear and learn. I wish that our youth will be like the youth in Hillsong church. It'll be great that we are among thousands of youth to praise God like the concert in Hillsong and Planetshakers. I just recently get my sister comment and read some blog at the local churches in Sabah. It said that willing is a key to have faith with God. I ask God for a willing heart. O Lord strengthen me through out my life.

2006-07-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

At Last, A Hope Can Be Find......

For a few days ago, a long weakness still hidden in me came out to haunted me in my life. This problem is from my fear during my schoolhood in secondary school. I always asking myself why I always been quiet and silent people. What wrong with me. Why I will become the most silent people in the class while I was studying for 5 years in my ex-secondary school. Actually I had a problem in comunication problem with people especially talking to girls. It's was my one of my weakness that I had afraid of for a long time in my life. It was a social problem that I had burried in my heart for a long time. It's almost every guys' problem. This haunted weakness had making me so afraid and bored for many days. I had seek for many of my friends' advices that can help me throughout this weakness I had. Human are not perfect. At last, I got a very helping advice today from a friend of mine, Joash that help me much in my life. He said that I had not open up myself for a long time. As I was in a plastic wrap, wrapping myself up into it and stuck myself into it. It's been a long time that I had not open myself of the plastic wrap for a long time. He said I should try my best to came out from plastic wrap and set free myself. It must gone through a long painful path to learn to be open up myself up. To be open is mean open minded when to comunicate, thinking and etc. To see things wider than before. I was been afraid that when I talk to a new person especially girls, I was afraid that I will be look down or saying that I am weird or etc. The reality is when you treat a person well, they will treat you well as he told to me. Even afraid of been rejected or saying that I am weird or etc, take the first step to know someone you wish to know and have a friendship with them. It' cannot by force because I might hurt people feeling just like I pour a glass of cold water to a glass of hot water immediately, it will shatter the glass into pieces. That mean doing things that mean by force can hurt someone else. Every thing is start from the bottom to the highest place. It'll be the a painfull walk to open up myself to be a better person. It's need sacrifice. Just like Jesus that loves us all even we are sinner because he already been through all the challenges and make a sacrifice to all the mankind of the earth so that we can have a relationship with God. Even though we are sinner before God and we are dirty to face a holy God, He choose to sacrifice himself as a Lamb Of God to get us all to have a relationship with Him. He choose to love us unconditionaly even we are sinner. Just as like Jesus, i as christian want to love people unconditionaly and don't expect any gift or a return back to me. It's a hard and painful road to walk through but after it I will get something that is more precious than things in the world which is love and the friendship I have and cherished. I must began to lay down my burden to God so that I will not suffer so much to have this big burden. God had told us give our burden to Him so we can set free ourselves and have faith in Him. Joash said that I was like a guy with a full sack of things walking in the desert for a long time to some place. Suddenly a guy with a car came through ask I for a lift to his car because we are on the same destination. I agree and get into his car and he began to drive the car. Yet I was in the car, I had not put down my sack of things down into the car instead standing with the sack and standing on the car. Joash said that I had not yet learn to put down the sack and rest in the car. God was like the driver in the car that He can help you to reduce your tiredness lifting a full sack of burden. I was just like the guy that lifting the sack and standing on the car. If I had put down all things on it, i can rest and refresh again. It's need faith that give all the burden to Jesus. Oh, I need to prayed this night for all the problem I had. Oh Lord refresh my life.

2006-06-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

Yahoo.....At Last I Pass It....the test of driving a car....

Yahoo........at last I pass my JPJ road test. Last time, I fail it and I need to retest again. But this time I pass it and I can get license to drive a car. To drive my father's car. I was afraid and nervous when I test again the road test. I prayed to God that He will strengthen me through my test. Thank God, I pass it. If have faith in Him, anything can be happen. Praise God for making me not nervous when I on the test. Happy for me because I can drive car loh........yeah...yeah...

2006-06-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

Bored.....Nothing To Do Yet Lazy Around At Home...

Sigh.....I had fail my car license test last thursday. So very unlcky because when I began to test the main road test which test about your driving skill at the main road, I got a very bad, old and useless car and a very strict and bad JPJ test officer. While I driving into the Road B, I had arrived at the airport place and stop at the white line for began to look the car at my left and right, the car off engine and I can't concentrate at my right side to see the car at my right side and I just went up to the road and the JPJ guy said that he see many car go through and he tick that I drive with danger. Just like that I had fail my test. So I need to test again after 8 days. So unlucky because I fail it. Anyway, I am bored at home oh. Lazy around and many homework not yet to be done. Very bored because very lonely at home. After this holiday, many test will began at school day. Form 6 might very hard oh. Donno what will I do. Sigh....very bored oh........

2006-06-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

True Or False.....

It was great having a holiday at KK from wednesday to saturday. I got buy a pair of shoes, watch and some clothes for my daily needs. Many problem had happen during my family and I on the trip to KK and back from KK. The car got cooling problem and it easy to heat up while driving up to the hill. Many times that we stop at some places at the road to cool up the car engine and the radiator by filling up with cool water. But God really help us to have a safe journey back home last saturday because had many problem already. We had prayed that God help us and it really work. While I was in KK, I saw many things in the TV and the cinema. Many false teaching and gospel had affected our christian faith. Movie and documentary such as The Da Vinci Code and The Gospel of Judas. These thing is the gnostic gospel which twisted the truth long ago during the early church. It twisted the very foundation of Christianity. (It said that that salvation is not based in faith in the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus, but in one's own efforts to gain secret knowledge that will lead to "enlightenment". Gnosticism promotes ideas which are popular with many today seeking an easy, compromising "religion" -- the notion that we are essentially "good" at the core, that there is no such thing as sin, that there are many ways to the truth, that there is no need for redemption or a Redeemer, and that we can of our own efforts attain oneness with God. Fact is, the Bible teaches that "The hear is deceitful and desperately wicked -- who can know it?", and that "All have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God. Jesus said that "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life -- no one comes to the Father except by Me." Gnosticism is far far removed from the teachings of Jesus and the central truths of Christianity.) text from http://www.evidencetobelieve.net/da_vinci_code_truth.htm. Many false teaching and story came to deceive us and let us astray and let us away from the love of God. It makes us doubt about God. Just like what the Bible has tell us at 1 John 4: 1 to 6 :

[Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claim to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world. This is a the way to find out if they have the Spirit of God: If a prophet acknowledges that Jesus Christ became human being, that person has the Spirit of God. If a prophet does not acknowledge Jesus, that person is not from God. Such a personm has the spirit of Antichrist. You have heard that he is going to come into the world, and he is already here. But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won your fight with these false prophet, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in this world. These people belongs to this world, so they speak from the world's view-point, and the world listen to them. But we belong to God; that is why those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.]

That why we who is a Christian must stay in our faith in God. We must wear the armour of God to defend ourselves from false teaching. That why we must read the Bible to know clearly about the Truth. We must have strong faith in God and know the Word of God to know what is true and false.
I now must read bible everyday because I want to know God better and stand firmly in the truth.

To get better information:

The Gnostic Gospel: http://www.evidencetobelieve.net/gnostic_gospels.htm
Truth and the Da Vinci Code: http://www.evidencetobelieve.net/da_vinci_code_truth.htm
Fact about Gospel of Judas: http://www.christiancentury.org/article.lasso?id=1594

2006-05-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

What So Important........

What so important of this job yet people don't see your greatness. This question doubt me for a long time ago when the first time I join the praise team . I have been in the job that called LCD projectorist or song slide projectorist. This is the job which I needed to show the words of the song into the screen to lead people to see and sing. Actually it is a very important job just as the sound engineer in the church. You needed focus at the worship song that the vocalist sing and follow each of their words that came out from their mouth. Each of their sign needed to be focus and know what they will sing to which part like chorus or etc. Yet this job is the most people don't want to do because it not as cool and great as the musician and worship leader. This job is the back stage job that help the worship to lead the people to sing the song that they not ussually remember the lyric of the song. Just like the PA sound man or called sound engineer, is the back stage job which people don't see you much and sees you as an easy job. I have been a LCD projectorist at my church for 6 years and just recently I just know how to manage a good quality of sound as a sound man at the PA or sound system. Many people sees me that my job is easy job and just press the button. I also have been doubt for my job. For many years, God really guide me through this job although people don't see me as an important person in the worship team. Yet many advice that my friends, leaders and my sisters said that all we do is to serve God only not to promoting you or to man. It's really an courage words to me for many years. Today, I went to my youth cell group, a leader which is my friend too who called Ah Yeing said much about her preaching. She said tha when you are in any ministry, we serve as a body or as a team. Church is like a body which got many kinds of ministry. If one of the hands cut of, can the body works well as usual. Of course not. Just like the praise and worship team in the church, everyone in the team plays a very important role although people don't sees the back stage role like sound man or LCD projectorist also play a very important role. If the LCD guy not at the computer or the projector, how can the new christian or people who don't know the songs can sing the song that the worship leader sings. Even though some people can memorize the lyric of the songs yet they still have weakness to forgot the lyric too. Sound man too because he is the one who manage the sound in a stage or church to be a better quality of acoustic sound in the praise and worship time. If he is not there, who control the sound system. Even though someone know a little bit of it yet is not as good as the usual sound man who at there to make the worship live and make the congregation to sing pleasantly. Worship leader too because if the worship leader is not at the team when practise or during times of worship, no one can lead the people to worship. The musician too because if one of the musician like the guitarist have not come during the times of worship, the music that played out may not as good as usual. Everyone in a ministry play a very important role even the one who gets the less attention. Just have to know that who we got to serve. We are serving God not serving man. That why this words makes me untill now I am still the projectorist and I have learn much with computer things untill I can design a poster for some multimedia presention. The Festival Of Praise 2006, Extraordinary poster is I design it for advertising purpose. God really guide me much as I walk the days of my life. Even a job which people don't sees you or know you, I must remind myself that I must do it for the best to God because I am serving the supernatural and the living God. For now on, I must began to prayed much because I have a long time to prayed much because I am lazy. May God guide my life and my future. I hope this words will be a encouragement to those who read it. Remember that everyone in the church even any ministrys play an important rolw to God because we are serving God not man.

2006-05-17T19:48:00.000+08:00

What A Great Festival Of Praise 2006....

Last Friday which is 12th May 2006, just as my first posted article. It is really event that change my life at all. Our Praise Group team which is the praise and worship team at my local church which is St Michael Church. We had learn many things from God. Our leader, Michael Chew had said many thing to us all. He said that we all must united to lead people to worship. He is a great leader to our team. An anointed leader that given by God to our team even he got some weakness that we also not like it much. That night, our team come into prayer to free ourselves to help us been clean and free to worship God. All of us before the event began the prayer. Many of us becoming prayer warriors that night. It's really a good experince to me. Although that festival not much people came which is about 70 over, all of us had learn an important thing in our life. We all had the same mind, same channel and all of us united to praise God. It's really a breakthrough at our team. We finally came out from the wilderness for many year. That night was a happy night. All of us came together to work it the event out. My best friend had encourage me much that night. It's is a great experince at all. But the road for the future is still long to reach to Jesus side. Now we know what is the true meaning of worship God and in the future, many things need to be done and we will ready for it. Have faith in Him and He will lead us all to the goal. The Lord is great indeed. Halleluyah...He is with us at all. God will guide us all and you in your life. Get known Him to be EXTRAORDINARY PERSON in the universe. Hehe.....the photo for the event maybe later can be publish because it still at my best friend's pc.

2006-04-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

Self Doubt Kills A Friend

Self doubt really kills a friend. For what recently I had post articles at my blog. Many things I had done wrong. For what I had wrote at the recently article is what I had think it wrong. I had been selfish of myself and just think of the good deed of a friend could do. I had not cherish a gang of friends that cares me a lot even they had not show to me but in their heart they always care me. I had sorry to myself for what I had spoke hurting to my best friend untill he was tired of me and just always speechless to me. It was my weakness for all this years because of my secondary school days experiences. I was the most silent and negative person in my class. No one likes to talk to me because of this weakness. Yet that why I like my friend at church. yet I had been affected of my past and hurt my own caring friends at my church. How ashamed tfor what I had done. Sorry to my best friend that had realise me that I had did wrong. I was ashamed to talk to them for what I had done. I hardly can't sorry for myself. God help me with your loving heart, Lord. I had been negative and said cruel words to my own friends. How sinful I am ? I pray that God help me to courage and talk good words to my friends. Sorry is hard to earned. What I need to do is don't think much and think before I speak the words. Sorry to my dearest friends.........I was ashamed of myself........Sorry....Sorry....It may affected my life....

2006-04-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

Bored And No Mood To Care......Sigh...

A few days ago, I seem bored at home even I had go to practise driving for my license. It quite panic when I drive my sifu's car. It's an experience to me because I never drive a car before. Bored and no mood had come to my life. It's seems is my work for the Festival Of Praise. I donno what happen to me now. Sigh.....bored and no mood....I was a silent and sensitive person although my friend not realise me well. Sometimes my words can hurt some people because what I had comment about their work. They seems rejected me as a member of the gang of friends. Silent person is make by my most silent pupil in the class. I donno how to talk to people emotionly because I lack of communication skill. That my weakness all the days of my life. Donno what happen to me. I seems wanted to leave Sandakan my hometown to find a new friend and on fire christians to get on. Sigh...because I was seems alone for a long time. My friends can talk their problem to me and I help them but when I was bored and no mood, they seems selfish for a little and not come to my site to talk and advice. They like more care about themselves and their popularity. Sigh....is that I am a silent people...I donno. They go to the fun fair at Mile 4 that the fun fair team came from United Kingdom, they go and had fun but the next day they said to me about the coolest thing at there. Yet they had not think of me and call me to join them. They seems call the others that are more fun and go with them. Sigh.....if they had think and care of me sometimes is a good sign to me. Sigh......have they ever think about me or I think about them....I donno. Sigh......what kind of friend that I had in my church. Materialisme and selfism had draw friendship to broken lose. Sigh......I must to pray to God that about this problem. I seems faithless already because of this problem. Even I am the multimedia leader to make better media in the Festival, my companion who is the movie editor just take more attention to the dance that will present out at Michaelmas than doing the making show at that concert on that night. It's make me that I had lack of faith in him because taking things that is very small in this event although I was easy and lying around at home because I waiting for the STPM news for taking student to which school they study. But I donno how to edit movie and greater media presentation, I just design and edit photo only and type slide for the concert. Seems make lack of faith in him. Sigh......last night my caring friend said to me at msn, she said leave it to God and pray for it and have faith in Him and have faith in my friend who do the movie thing. Sigh......I donno what to do already. I had persuate him and said to him, he just said oh. When I said that the song he edited for the dance got a bit problem at some place, he said to me that he made the song is not good lah. Sigh....how can I said to him. I really donno what to do. It just I pray to God about this problem. God will make the way. Pray and wait just for now............

It's hard to get a friend that care you much than himself but there is a most caring friend in all the universe. This friend is Jesus Christ. He will be faithfull in you all the time and He will not changed. Halleluyah that I got He.

2006-04-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

It's Good Friday today....The Day Jesus Christ Died On The Cross

Have you seen the movie called The Passion Of The Christ? I have seen it and it is a sad movie but bring a new revial to us all mankind in the face of the earth. God is holy, man is sinner. Man can't had relationship with God because of their sins. Either God too. For we have sin agaist God, God so loves us untill He send His Son, Jesus Christ to us for a ultimate sacrifice for our sin. It painful to take the cup of suffering and drink it all for Him. All of this things happen because the unfailing and unconditional love of God. He did this because he want us to be with Him. What loving God for us all. Imagine if you are poor, dirty and sinful man to meet a king, what he will do. Surely he will throw you out because you had make his place to be dirty. It like God who is holy and powerful, we are sinner and what we have done is against God. Because He love us so much, Jesus Christ had become the middle man to meet God. Through Jesus only that you can contact with God. That why he died on the cross for our sins. He win over death and He had resurrect to Heaven. I had to dedicade a song from Jonathan Tse for this Good Friday:

It's a dark and distant road

To the cross of Calvary

It hurt to watch him walk

Down that road of suffering

Through the pain of carrying the cross

Shame so unbearing

He was mocked and his clothes were torn off

Did it all because of love

He did it all for me

He gave it all for me

No I can't believe it's true

That he chose to set me free

Took my death for eternal life

I can't comprehend His mind

Those nail that pierced through His hands

It's disturbing my mind

Can't imagine, I can't describe

Of this Saviour sacrifice

Why would you do such a thing?

For a sinful man such as me

Is it worth all the cause?

For the one that has never seen

*This is the song that Jonathan Tse written for his album, Purpose

Jesus bear the cross for all of our sins. It is the time for us to bear the cross for Him because we, christian had accepted Him as our Saviour. Tear comes out when you see the movie that the character of Jesus had been whiped and mocked when He was began to been died on the cross for all our sins. He has forgive us all even we are sinner because He love us. Only Him, we can have a relationship with God. This is the miracle of the Cross.

2006-04-13T12:15:00.000+08:00

Yahoo...I Pass My Law Test....Yeah...

Yahoo......I had pass my law test today...wah so happy oh.....last night, I pray that God that He will grant me wisdom so that I will pass my law test...wah so happy oh......and last night, I read all the revision book that contain 500 question for the test because I must answer 42 question out of 50 question so I can pass the law test...wah...so many oh. When I was in the test center, i went into the test room which use computer to do the test. When I was checking my answer, the electricty off and all the computer offline already...so bored to see this happen. I went to the siting site to read the revison book again. After they had open the machine to supply electric, I went back to have the test again. After I had sure the question that I had answer, I click the end of the questiojn button to end the test and I pass and get 90% for my test which mean 45/50 question that correct. Wah so happy to me that I had pass my law test for the first stage of driving license, but must to go to the workshop briefing for futher test. Praise God that He give me wisdom to me to done well. I hope that I can get my driving lisence quickly.....yeah

2006-04-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

Temper rise.....Emotion Rise....Angry Comes

Tonight as I always go to church for practise, things has happen when I was in the PA sound system to help them to make a best sound quality for them even I am not very skilled at it. I was been scolded and said that I am so stingy to make the sound so low until they cannot heard it. I already put the volume to the highest but seems that old and stupid system are not functioning. So my best freind who's the regular guy to do this job and make it well. I was so angry and my temper is up while I was cutting paper that contain words to put it into the display words at the system. Yet I was the sound man who is new to this thing been scolded that I was stingy for giving them higher sound in the stupid monitor. While my other frens said something to me, I shouted so loud untill he was been offended but lastly I and he said sorry to each and other. Even I was so angry and sick of the words that came from a guy's mouth, my best friend didn't said anything to me yet leave me speechless. Suddenly I cry to God, why they had to said words that hurt me. I was not an experience sound man yet they scolded me like a stupid guy. It was painfull and angry mix up together at my mind. When I was reminded that I should love my friend unconditionaly, even this thing happen because God love us unconditionaly but we must love my friend even my enemy unconditionaly. It hard to do that but I must do it with God. There are some people that think that been a sound man or LCD projectorist is not cool and unimportant and useless but someday they will realize how important they are. It remind me that if I lead a team, I shall cherish everyone heart and care for them than leave them to leave the team. It's hard to do it so. God has love me even I had sin agaist Him but yet He love me unconditionaly. It is a hard task to do it in my journey to eternal life. I believe that God with me even I was been tested......

2006-04-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

An event that teach me a lot.......

Festival of Praise 2006 is coming soon at my church at Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia. It is a concert that our Praise Group held to bring people to believe in God and to worship Him. Many things happen to me lately when I was leading the multimedia team to do advertising for this concert and the media in the event that will make people to believe in God. Bad comment and good comment come out from people to our this big event. It is very stressful to us for the bad word come to us. I also experience the attack from the devil to make me that I was mportant person in the event. It hard to carry the Cross of Jesus Christ at our life. I also had lost my handphone. Even during this time, my own friends had drifted me away and they speechless before me. It is a hard and tough to go through this feeling that you had been rejected. But God is always with me to go through this path even this things happen in my life. When i receive my sister letter, her advice truly touch me and relief my problem that happen in my life. There is season for everything, a season to laugh, season to cry, season to be disappointed and season to be give thanks. There are a lot of seasons in our live, in everyone’s live. It is a season of disappointed for me right now. But I know that God will always be with me even i was suffering of friendship problem. It hard to go through of it but God will guide me all the way. For the word of God had said:

The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strenght. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not afraid for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will persue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

God will always be with me. I must love my friend with unconditional love for God even they had drifted me aways. It's a hard journey to move on.....